Education for young people is important in many countries. However, some people think that governments should spend more money on education in adult population who cannot read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Some people believe that educating the youth is the top priority goal of any nation
while
others argue that state money should be channeled to reduce the rate of illiterate adults
. This
essay completely agrees with the latter initiative to better improve adult
literacy because it will ultimately contribute to economic growth as well as
benefit the next generations.
To begin
with, a decline in the rate of illiterate adults
can offer countries obvious economic advantages. This
is because while
most white-collar jobs' minimum requirement is the ability to read and write, grown-ups who cannot meet such
demand fail to get a well-paid job and usually opt for harsh unskilled manual work or stay unemployed to live off social allowance. Therefore
, governmental efforts to wipe out illiteracy in the adult
population will help improve the number of skilled workers and therefore
accelerate productivity while
sustainably lowering the budget spent on social welfare for these underprivileged people. For instance
, in Ho Chi Minh, since 2010 the local authorities have spent a considerable fund on free classes and social projects to eradicate illiteracy among adult
city-dwellers and by the year 2020, this
city experienced the lowest rate of unemployment in the target population with more than 75% of them being able to get a stable job with a higher salary.
Furthermore
, policy on improving adult
education is also
thought to be beneficial for the beneficiaries' children
. This
is to say adults
who are unable to read or write usually have low self-esteem and limited knowledge in raising their offsprings
which might in turn hinder the Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
children
's development and education. For instance
, a social study reports that children
from this
disavantaged
background are more likely to academically perform worse than their peers at school yet Correct your spelling
disadvantaged
disadvantage
showing
more signs of either Wrong verb form
show
sense
of inferiority or rebellion.
In conclusion, even though education for young people is crucial, it is strongly believed that state investment in lessening the number of illiterate Correct article usage
a sense
adults
would benefit both the economy and the beneficiaries’ children
.Submitted by nha7032463 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Ensure clarity and precision in your introduction. While your stance is clear, refining your thesis statement can make it even more compelling. Try directly stating the benefits to both the economy and future generations from the start.
coherence cohesion
Make good use of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs, but be wary of overuse or misuse. Review and practice using a wider variety of cohesive devices to enhance the natural flow of your text.
general
Your essay would benefit from a slightly more detailed conclusion that not only reiterates your stance but also succinctly summarizes the key points made. This helps reinforce your argument and provides a strong, memorable closing.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?