In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What types of changes are occuring? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?
In an ever-progressive society, there are some changes in family status and domestic role division
due to
the alternation in social ideology. Linking Words
This
tendency encourages Linking Words
women
to become more independent, outweighing the drawbacks of harmony.
First and foremost, the emphasis on gender equality provides rise to Use synonyms
parrental
working patterns. With the rise of feminism, Correct your spelling
parallel
women
were encouraged to learn, work and achieve their own upshot in their fields. Use synonyms
Instead
, the stereotype that men earn money and Linking Words
women
give birth, Use synonyms
manage
the housework has been reversed, and Correct word choice
and manage
women
’s responsibilities are no longer limited to housework but can contribute to many senior positions Use synonyms
such
as manager, government officials and even the president. Linking Words
Therefore
, men can do housework and take care of their children, or they can hire a housekeeper to focus on their own business.
On top of that, the suppression of patriarchy encourages the dignity of Linking Words
women
. In the past, men were considered the head of the family with full control over their Use synonyms
wife
and children. With feminist ideology, the Fix the agreement mistake
wives
initially
inferior status of Linking Words
women
is valued, and their opinions are responded to in the family, they can join in the family’s decision. Use synonyms
According to
psychological research, mutual acceptance and understanding are top priorities in teenagers’ cognition and development, especially female Linking Words
adolescence
. Replace the word
adolescents
Therefore
, more equal family status gives Linking Words
women
more Use synonyms
advantageous
in Replace the word
advantages
decision making
, critical thinking, and social abilities.
Add a hyphen
decision-making
To conclude
, gender role diversity and the emphasis on the female stand stimulate society’s development. Linking Words
Hence
, that has helped Linking Words
women
and children have the courage to develop themselves.Use synonyms
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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear view expressing both the changes in family roles and your perspective towards these changes. Aim to provide more varied examples and perhaps statistics or studies to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain clarity with paragraphing, seamlessly connecting your ideas. You showed a considerable grasp of this with a well-structured response, but ensuring each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next with clear topic sentences could enhance coherence.
Language
Integrate a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas, especially concerning gender roles and societal changes, to demonstrate a greater command of the language.
Introduction/Conclusion
Addresses the topic thoroughly with a clear introduction and conclusion, discussing changes in family structures and roles.
Examples
Good utilization of examples to illustrate points on gender roles and equality.
Analysis
Your analysis of the impact of these changes on society and individuals is insightful, showing depth in your reasoning.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?