Globalization threatens the existence of distinct cultural identities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is believed that internationalisation can be perilous for the diversity of
cultures
. I completely agree with this
statement because of migration and multiculturalism. This
essay will delve deeper into these points in the impending paragraphs.
To begin
with, there are numerous reasons why the world as a global village is a danger to the uniqueness of cultural identity. Foremost, mass migration of students and professionals around the globe is the catalyst in this
threat process. It is because when they shift into
other nations, they try to adapt their culture to look like native ones. Change preposition
to
For example
, the combinations of jeans and tops and formal pant-shirts are famous in Add an article
the western
western
world which migrated personnel like to wear at work and home Capitalize word
Western
instead
of traditional ones. In addition
, online websites give huge discounts on these clothes whereas
ethnic attire is mostly costly so modern choices are cost effective
for them.
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
Besides
it, the second factor of this
phenomenon is the amalgamation of different cultures
since modernization. Certainly, it may be the major factor as nations are connected to each other by online and offline modes and the viewer quickly grabs new things from other cultures
despite considering their dire consequences. For example
, reception after marriage was not initially
a part of third-world countries’ marriages which is borrowed from developed states. Hence
, citizens of underdeveloped countries have to spend hefty amounts on new customs unnecessarily.
To conclude
, it is unequivocal that globalization warns the extent of the distinguished nature of cultures
since the movement of generations and their adaptation towards Western countries.Submitted by Mrjit147 on
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General Advice
To further improve the essay, work on streamlining the arguments and making sure each point is fully developed. Adding more nuanced points about how globalization can both threaten and possibly enrich cultural identities could also provide a more balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be careful with transitions to make them smoother. While the logical flow is good, there are a few abrupt shifts between ideas that could be smoothed out.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which set up and wrap up the arguments effectively.
Task Achievement
Specific examples are used to illustrate points, making the essay more convincing.