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Band 6.5

Although many people value public parks, some argue that this space could be better utilized for residential developments or businesses to support the growing population and boost the economy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #value #parks #argue #space #developments #businesses #support #population #economy
While
 the pressure for housing and economic growth is undeniable, I firmly believe that public
parks
 should be preserved
due to
 their crucial benefits for environmental sustainability and public
health
.
Firstly
, public
parks
 play a vital role in urban environmental
health
. Green
spaces
 absorb carbon dioxide, reduce pollution, and provide cooler microclimates in cities, which are especially important in densely populated areas.
For example
, research by the World
Health
 Organization has shown that urban
parks
 can decrease air pollution by up to 40%, contributing to cleaner, healthier cities. Without these
spaces
, cities would struggle to mitigate the negative impacts of urbanization,
such
 as rising temperatures and poor air quality.
Secondly
,
parks
 are essential for the physical and mental well-being of residents. In modern urban settings, where stress and sedentary lifestyles are common,
parks
 provide safe areas for exercise, relaxation, and socializing. Studies have consistently shown that access to green
spaces
 helps reduce stress and improve mental
health
.
Furthermore
,
parks
 offer safe
spaces
 for children to play, promoting their physical development and encouraging healthy lifestyles from an early age. In conclusion,
although
 there is a need for more housing and commercial developments, public
parks
 offer irreplaceable benefits for both the environment and public
health
.
Thus
, urban planners should prioritize preserving green
spaces
 alongside responsible development.
Submitted by baigalnarantuya1 on

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task achievement
While your ideas are clear and relevant, adding varying perspectives or counterarguments could enhance the comprehensiveness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Use more transitional phrases to improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs. This would make your essay even more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both strong and clearly presented.
task achievement
The essay provides substantial evidence and specific examples to support the main points.
task achievement
The ideas are well-expressed and easy to understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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