Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

Some

people

argue that various achievements in life are reached through intensive and hard

work

whereas

proponents believe that riches and

appearance

are more important. I contend that determination and hard

work

are needed to gain

success

however

, other factors still play a vital role.

To begin

, hard

work

is necessary to gain advance.

This

is because diligence allows

people

to show their ability, gain opportunities and reach a plethora of achievements.

For example

, teenagers

work

hard in their high-school learning process to enrol in gift universities or win a scholarship which provides them with the possibility to get an available education.

Moreover

, determination is one of the main factors which leads to

success

. In order words, on the way to

success

, there will be many failures so without resoluteness,

people

easy to compromise and quit. Take Nick Vuijc as an example, if he had not determined to do everything by himself even with the disability of his hands and feet, he would not be as successful and independent as he now

However

, other factors are

also

important,

appearance

is the first thing.

This

due to

the fact that

people

with good

appearance

usually have more priority than other competitors, which means they have more chances to show their abilities and get a promotion at

work

For instance

, the head of flight attendants needed to adopt both requirements about

appearance

and specialized skills.

Additionally

, relationships are considered important reason. To explain, having relationships provides instructions and support for interns.

According to

the New York Times, almost all famous actors have connections with media tycoons in order to offer them rich sources of film projects.

Thus

relationships play an essential capacity in the

success

of art-related careers.

Mon Mar 25 2024

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task achievement

Good job providing relevant examples to support your points.

task achievement

The essay meets the general requirements of the task by discussing both views and providing an opinion.

coherence cohesion

Overall logical structure is clear with distinct paragraphs for each main idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Natural resources, such as water, forests and oil, are being used at an excessive rate. What is the main cause of this problem? How can this issue be solved?

Some people believe that the government should support the funds for the arts, while some other people suggest that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The television is good for you. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage of watching television. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your experience.

In some countries, an increasing number of children are overweight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from school canteens is the best way to flight this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?