Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some

people

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argue that various achievements in life are reached through intensive and hard

work

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whereas

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proponents believe that riches and

appearance

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are more important. I contend that determination and hard

work

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are needed to gain

success

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however

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, other factors still play a vital role.

To begin

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, hard

work

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is necessary to gain advance.

This

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is because diligence allows

people

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to show their ability, gain opportunities and reach a plethora of achievements.

For example

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, teenagers

work

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hard in their high-school learning process to enrol in gift universities or win a scholarship which provides them with the possibility to get an available education.

Moreover

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, determination is one of the main factors which leads to

success

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. In order words, on the way to

success

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, there will be many failures so without resoluteness,

people

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easy to compromise and quit. Take Nick Vuijc as an example, if he had not determined to do everything by himself even with the disability of his hands and feet, he would not be as successful and independent as he now

However

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, other factors are

also

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important,

appearance

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is the first thing.

This

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due to

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the fact that

people

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with good

appearance

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usually have more priority than other competitors, which means they have more chances to show their abilities and get a promotion at

work

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For instance

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, the head of flight attendants needed to adopt both requirements about

appearance

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and specialized skills.

Additionally

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, relationships are considered important reason. To explain, having relationships provides instructions and support for interns.

According to

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the New York Times, almost all famous actors have connections with media tycoons in order to offer them rich sources of film projects.

Thus

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relationships play an essential capacity in the

success

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of art-related careers.

Mon Mar 25 2024

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task achievement

Good job providing relevant examples to support your points.

task achievement

The essay meets the general requirements of the task by discussing both views and providing an opinion.

coherence cohesion

Overall logical structure is clear with distinct paragraphs for each main idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Why do you think this is happening? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people say schools should be responsible for teaching young adults to look after their health, others think this is not the responsibility of schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, women and men are working full time. It is therefore, logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and long term?