Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advertisements are ubiquitous in modern society, and it is true that they impact
people
's values and can negatively affect their lives.
However
,
this
writer disagrees that advertisements uniformly exert a detrimental influence on both the demand and the view of the customers, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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promotion can help inform
people
in various aspects.  It must be understood that advertising does play a major role in shaping
people
's desires and perceptions of what is important. When we are constantly bombarded with images of luxury goods, beauty products and the latest fashions,
this
understandably makes us focus more on materialism, appearance and
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
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. There is evidence that countries with higher advertising spend per
capital
Correct your spelling
capita
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also
have higher materialism scores.
This
obsession with products and status can lead to problems like
over-spending
Correct your spelling
overspending
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, debt, and dissatisfaction when we compare ourselves to unrealistic advertising imagery.
However
, advertisements are not wholly bad. Some
ads
can positively influence us by promoting causes like health, education or environmentalism. Adverts for charities and social messages make us think about important issues facing society. And responsibly made
ads
inform us about products we may find useful.
While
ads
can manipulate us, we can
also
exercise our own judgement. In conclusion, advertising has significant power to direct
people
's thinking, and the prevalence of consumerist messages can negatively shape values. But advertising is not an exclusively malign influence. Some
ads
can have socially beneficial impacts. With critical thinking, we can
also
moderate its effects on our lives.
Overall
, the effects are mixed,
and
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so I do not fully agree that
ads
only have negative consequences.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay exhibits a well-structured progression of ideas, making it easy to follow. However, providing more specific examples and data could strengthen your argument further.
task achievement
You address the prompt well, acknowledging both the negative and positive aspects of advertisements. To enhance your task response, you could delve deeper into specific examples or studies that highlight these impacts.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets a clear tone for the essay, providing a balanced view, which is maintained throughout.
supported main points
Your essay successfully covers both sides of the argument, including benefits and drawbacks of advertisements.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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