Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advertisements are ubiquitous in modern society, and it is true that they impact

people

's values and can negatively affect their lives.

However

this

writer disagrees that advertisements uniformly exert a detrimental influence on both the demand and the view of the customers, as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

promotion can help inform

people

in various aspects. It must be understood that advertising does play a major role in shaping

people

's desires and perceptions of what is important. When we are constantly bombarded with images of luxury goods, beauty products and the latest fashions,

this

understandably makes us focus more on materialism, appearance and

consuming

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

. There is evidence that countries with higher advertising spend per

capital

Correct your spelling

capita

show examples

also

have higher materialism scores.

This

obsession with products and status can lead to problems like

over-spending

Correct your spelling

overspending

show examples

, debt, and dissatisfaction when we compare ourselves to unrealistic advertising imagery.

However

, advertisements are not wholly bad. Some

ads

can positively influence us by promoting causes like health, education or environmentalism. Adverts for charities and social messages make us think about important issues facing society. And responsibly made

ads

inform us about products we may find useful.

While

ads

can manipulate us, we can

also

exercise our own judgement. In conclusion, advertising has significant power to direct

people

's thinking, and the prevalence of consumerist messages can negatively shape values. But advertising is not an exclusively malign influence. Some

ads

can have socially beneficial impacts. With critical thinking, we can

also

moderate its effects on our lives.

Overall

, the effects are mixed,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

so I do not fully agree that

ads

only have negative consequences.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Mon Jun 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay exhibits a well-structured progression of ideas, making it easy to follow. However, providing more specific examples and data could strengthen your argument further.

task achievement

You address the prompt well, acknowledging both the negative and positive aspects of advertisements. To enhance your task response, you could delve deeper into specific examples or studies that highlight these impacts.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction sets a clear tone for the essay, providing a balanced view, which is maintained throughout.

supported main points

Your essay successfully covers both sides of the argument, including benefits and drawbacks of advertisements.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

7.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.

Housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government action can solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?