Some people think that success in life comes from hard-working and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Whether success stems from industriousness and devotion or other elements including wealth and beauty is a highly subjective discussion point.
However
, from prior experience, hard work and determination is
more worth considering Change the verb form
are
due to
motivation and admiration compared with the idea of impression
made by external factors.
It must be recognized that internal values strongly affect one’s effort to reach established goals. Add an article
the impression
an impression
This
is because, people always try to achieve their dreams, without
great determination, Correct word choice
and without
the
progress can be halted mid-way. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, the goals which have been set could never be accomplished, which should be considered as a failure. Therefore
, it is easy to understand why those elements are strongly required not only in business
world but Add an article
the business
also
in normal daily life.
Nonetheless
, an opposing opinion comes from numerous critics point
out that without appearance or wealth, dreams can hardly come true. Correct pronoun usage
who point
This
belief is based on the term “first impression” that
is generally mentioned as a key element that leads to success. Correct pronoun usage
which
The external
factors are increasingly used as criteria for valuing people as those are the first things that are caught in the eyes of the opposite person in a conversation. Correct article usage
External
As a consequence
, without these, they argued, opportunities for promotion can never be achieved. However
, it must be acknowledged that these values can easily be washed away along with
time, this
Correct pronoun usage
which
make
them hard to be considered as the most important criteria for grading someone.
Change the verb form
makes
This
author believes that nowadays, traditional values still remain crucial and so do them in the future. As long as a strong spirit continue
to exist in one’s mind towards the target, not only failures are reduced but Change the verb form
continues
also
the respect from the other can be improved. This
, in turn, can make the way to achieve
goals easier.
Wrong verb form
achieving
Hence
, high motivation and earning respect are essential points that need to be considered. Thus
, showing that hard work and devotion ought to be valued more.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Be sure to clearly introduce both views at the beginning of your essay. This will set a good foundation for a balanced discussion throughout your text.
coherence cohesion
Utilize a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your writing.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Real-world evidence or hypothetical scenarios can make your arguments more convincing and relevant.
task response
Consider concluding your essay with a stronger, more definitive stance. A clear, compelling conclusion reinforces your overall argument and leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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