Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A controversial discussion point is whether achieving a successful
life
requires diligence and determination rather than other factors such
as fortune and appearance. Despite the writer contending that conscientiousness and perseverance play a crucial role in success
, people believed that other aspects are more considered.
In light of the proliferation of job demands, it is vital to understand that diligent work and unwavering attitudes are undoubtedly essential for success
, especially in several domains. In the professional field, individuals who show initiative tend to be promoted in career prospects which require dedication and hard work. In the educational field, students who desire to enrol in prestigious universities like Harvard must be studious and exert resoluteness to achieve such
a goal.
However
, critics argued that other elements would also
directly influence the achievements. It must be acknowledged that a stable financial background not only assists individuals to get better education in their specific field but also
leads to more opportunities to achieve greater milestones in later growth. Furthermore
, a polished appearance can significantly influence how one is perceived, leading to preferential treatment in situations such
as job applications. This
point is credible but these factors will merely help with initial starts, achievements in life
also
require long-term effort which cannot be afforded by money.
This
writer advocates the opinion that being perseverant and determined will lead to progress in life
. In other words
, diligence in performance not only expands the career path on the contrary
also
gain more knowledge and experience leading to flexibility in case of facing failures. Furthermore
, resoluteness will receive admiration and assistance from colleagues leading to the possibility of success
. Thus
, hard effort and determination are preferable instead
of other aspects.
In conclusion, while
critics believe that money and appearance are more likely to affect success
in life
, I would favour conscientiousness and diligence for the aforementioned reasons. Therefore
, people should focus on their quality instead
of depending on other elements to succeed.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
clear comprehensive ideas
While your ideas are generally clear, there are some sentences where the phrasing can be improved. Try to simplify complex sentences to ensure your ideas are communicated effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some sentences have minor grammatical issues. Reviewing basic grammar rules and seeking feedback from others can help improve grammatical accuracy.
complete response
You have successfully presented both viewpoints and provided your opinion in a balanced way, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure with well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph flows well into the next, which aids readability.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant examples to support your main points, which helps to strengthen your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and reinforces your opinion on the topic, providing a strong ending.
supported main points
You have maintained a good level of coherence throughout the essay, and your points are generally well-supported.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!