Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

Whether achievements in life start from hard

work

and the strength of the will or

comes

Correct subject-verb agreement

come

show examples

from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

outlook and money is

such

a controversial point.

This

writer believes that it is talent and diligence that success rises from

due to

the ability to solve the problem from the smallest thing rather than just use the money to come up with it. It must be recognized that the industrious one will start from the smallest elements.

This

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they do not want any unexpected problems to arise throughout the process.

As a consequence

, they will deal with the problem exhaustively, so it can lead them to many triumphs.

Therefore

, it is easy to understand why hard

work

is more vital than beauty and economic potential.

However

, some people argue that cash and outlook can break many obstacles.

This

belief is based on the strength of the relationship that economics and beauty are able to form, whether it is derived from themselves or not.

This

may be true, but if anything comes from you without your abilities, it will not be yourselves so it will not steady.

Hence

, economics and appearance

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

important, but it not always everything

This

writer believes that hard

work

is the most important element of triumph.

This

is because industrious will lead to many achievements, neither do money and appearance. Because of

this

, each employee should focus on diligence rather than the outlook. In conclusion,

this

essay has shown that the main factor of success is hard

work

Therefore

industriousness is more favourable than economic potential and appearance.

Mon Mar 25 2024

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task achievement

Present a clear introduction that outlines your main points and conclusion. Your essay starts suddenly by discussing the importance of talent and diligence, which can be confusing. Introducing your argument with a clear statement would make your position clearer to the reader.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices to logically connect your ideas and paragraphs. While your essay is structured, it lacks varied linking phrases that can make the flow smoother.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your arguments. Your essay mentions general ideas about hard work and the benefits of diligence, but real-world examples or hypothetical scenarios could strengthen your claims.

task achievement

Though you have presented your opinion, try to explore the opposing view in more depth. Discussing counterarguments more elaborately before refuting them could enrich your essay's content.

coherence cohesion

Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'industrious will lead to many achievements, neither do money and appearance.' Review your essay to correct these mistakes, as they can detract from your overall message.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g.: goods, service, news ). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet. What problems may this trend lead to? What solutions would you recomend?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. What might be the cases? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. Do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?