Nowadays many people go shopping in their free time. Shopping has replaced many other activities that people used to choose as their hobby. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

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These days a number of
people
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go shopping in their leisure
time
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. it has been considered a
hobby
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. It can lead to
consequences
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.
this
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essay will discuss some reasons for
this
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case and the negative
consequences
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that it can lead to. On the one hand, the majority of
people
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love to shopping In their leisure
time
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. since it is grand of their society.
For example
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, the majority are female they all the
time
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use their smartphone and use Instagram, and TikTok there are advertisements for clothes, cosmetics,
jewelry
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jewellery
show examples
, etc.
Moreover
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, even if they give an offer for that.
therefore
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they are going to the shopping.
Secondly
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, the shopping
center
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centre
show examples
has more facilities.
For example
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, there are places where parents can keep their kids playing
while
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they go shopping. it
consequences
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it becomes easier and funnier to shop at the mall.
On the other hand
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,
this
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uses shopping as a
hobby
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. it can have a very negative effect
such
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as spending a lot of money and their
time
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.
However
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, it can be replaced by other activities. shopping can be unhealthy because there are no benefits. end of the day they were very exhausted.
Therefore
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, they can do other activities.
For instance
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, can read books, do a sport do yoga, etc. so using shopping as a
hobby
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can be considered a negative development. In conclusion, the reason for more and more shopping
people
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is as a
hobby
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it become increasing for advertising and their facilities.
This
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comes from bad
consequences
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for
people
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.
Submitted by ma.ushamanu1024 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
A great effort in discussing both the reasons and the consequences of shopping as a hobby. To enhance clarity, working on sentence structure and avoiding repetition can improve the flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Clarify and expand on your examples to strengthen your argument. This will add depth to your essay and help in comprehensively covering the topic.
Topic Coverage
Your essay addressed the topic well by discussing the reasons behind the trend of shopping as a hobby and its implications.
Structure
You made an effort to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is commendable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumerism
  • Retail therapy
  • Materialism
  • Recreational activity
  • Social media influence
  • Advertising
  • Convenience
  • Online shopping
  • Commercial spaces
  • Disposable income
  • Hobby
  • Leisure time
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Technological advancements
  • Trends
  • Material possessions
  • Personal worth
  • Stress relief
  • Societal shift
  • Entertainment factor
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