Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance #dicuss

Most

people

believe that a successful life is a result of determination and a trying process

while

some

people

believe that

appearance

and money are the element factors.

This

essay believes with the first statement and provides some reasons for

this

case. First of all, hard

work

and determination are the best way to succeed. The reason is that when

people

work

hard, they try to find different ways to solve problems. So, they can get a lot of experience which makes they be sensitive if they face difficulties.

Moreover

, the

people

who try hard a lot can receive recognition from others.

For instance

, Cristiano Ronaldo, who is a professional soccer player, used to be a sweeper.

Conversely

, proponents of the significance of money and

appearance

posit that these factors significantly impact one's chances of

success

. Financial stability can provide access to quality education, valuable opportunities, and influential networks, all of which can influence one's path to achievement.

Additionally

, societal perceptions of physical

appearance

may shape interactions and determine opportunities, potentially affecting an individual's trajectory. In my view,

success

is a

multifaceted

Correct your spelling

multi-faceted

show examples

journey that necessitates a comprehensive approach. Hard

work

is undeniably foundational, propelling individuals towards growth and resilience.

Nevertheless

, the strategic allocation of available resources and the ability to seize opportunities can magnify the impact of hard

work

and accelerate the journey to

success

To sum up

although

appearance

and financial position have a great impact on achievement, hard

work

and determination are the most dominant factors in the way of

success

Mon Mar 25 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure that your essay clearly addresses the prompt, discussing both views and providing a reasoned opinion. Your opinion should be consistent throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas more fully with specific examples. While you mention Cristiano Ronaldo, expanding on how his hard work led to success or providing examples for both views would strengthen your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Improve the organizational structure of your essay. While you make an effort to discuss both viewpoints, creating clearer paragraph divisions and transitions between ideas would help with coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure to have a clear conclusion that summarises your discussion and reaffirms your viewpoint. It helps to bring closure to your essay and reinforces your main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

253 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
tenacity
socioeconomic status
aesthetic standards
meritocracy
disparities
innate characteristics
equitable opportunities
success metrics
fortuitous circumstances

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both view and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Crime rates are increasing in the recent years in all countries and it is becoming more violent . Why do you think is? What can be done for it?

While some believe that the best way to learn about current events is through newspapers, others think that they can learn news better through other forms of media. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?