Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance #dicuss

Most

people

believe that a successful life is a result of determination and a trying process

while

some

people

believe that

appearance

and money are the element factors.

This

essay believes with the first statement and provides some reasons for

this

case. First of all, hard

work

and determination are the best way to succeed. The reason is that when

people

work

hard, they try to find different ways to solve problems. So, they can get a lot of experience which makes they be sensitive if they face difficulties.

Moreover

, the

people

who try hard a lot can receive recognition from others.

For instance

, Cristiano Ronaldo, who is a professional soccer player, used to be a sweeper.

Conversely

, proponents of the significance of money and

appearance

posit that these factors significantly impact one's chances of

success

. Financial stability can provide access to quality education, valuable opportunities, and influential networks, all of which can influence one's path to achievement.

Additionally

, societal perceptions of physical

appearance

may shape interactions and determine opportunities, potentially affecting an individual's trajectory. In my view,

success

is a

multifaceted

Correct your spelling

multi-faceted

show examples

journey that necessitates a comprehensive approach. Hard

work

is undeniably foundational, propelling individuals towards growth and resilience.

Nevertheless

, the strategic allocation of available resources and the ability to seize opportunities can magnify the impact of hard

work

and accelerate the journey to

success

To sum up

although

appearance

and financial position have a great impact on achievement, hard

work

and determination are the most dominant factors in the way of

success

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Mar 25 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure that your essay clearly addresses the prompt, discussing both views and providing a reasoned opinion. Your opinion should be consistent throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas more fully with specific examples. While you mention Cristiano Ronaldo, expanding on how his hard work led to success or providing examples for both views would strengthen your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Improve the organizational structure of your essay. While you make an effort to discuss both viewpoints, creating clearer paragraph divisions and transitions between ideas would help with coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure to have a clear conclusion that summarises your discussion and reaffirms your viewpoint. It helps to bring closure to your essay and reinforces your main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
tenacity
socioeconomic status
aesthetic standards
meritocracy
disparities
innate characteristics
equitable opportunities
success metrics
fortuitous circumstances

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both view and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best for both individual and society. Do you agree or disagree? give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time . This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are buying fashionable clothes these days. Does it have more negative or positive effects? Give reasons for your answers and include examples relevant to your experience.

Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses, and teachers who make greater contributions to the society should be paid more that those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that the money spend on space exploration technology is not justifiable. The money should be spent on other beneficial things. To what extend do you agree or disagree?