some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

It is believed that the keys to success are

determination

and hard work,

while

others argue that appearance and

money

are more essential. The author of

this

essay believes that not giving up and being hard-working is vital It is acknowledged that

money

and appearance play crucial roles in some specific fields. In the movie industry,

for instance

, being gorgeous or handsome is a huge benefit as audiences tend to be captivated by good-looking actors/actresses.

As a result

, actors or actresses may leave a good impression and may be advocated by more and more individuals.

Money

also

important in starting up a business

This

is because people need a fortune to hire staff, purchase machines, or even rent an office

As a result

, a business can be developed thanks to monetary contribution. It is vital to understand

determination

and hard work play essential roles in every field By working hard, folks can gain different skills

as well as

knowledge, and

determination

helps people to move forward no matter how many times they have failed.

Consequently

, people can move closer to success day by day.

This

author claims that not giving up and being hard-working are the key factors to being successful.

This

is because efforts and being determined are needed not only in the movie industry or sports

in particular

but

also

in other careers generally. In a nutshell, many factors are claimed to be vital to reach success

such

money

and appearance or

determination

and hard work. The author thinks that the latter one is more crucial as it is needed in all careers.

Mon Mar 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure

To improve your score, ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Start with an introduction that presents the topic and your thesis statement. Follow this with body paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point supporting your argument, and conclude by summarizing your points and restating your opinion.

introduction conclusion present

Make sure your essay includes a distinct introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly present the essay topic and your stance, while the conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and firmly restate your view.

supported main points

Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing. Avoid vague statements by providing clear and relevant examples that directly support your argument.

complete response

Fully address all parts of the task. Make sure you discuss both views and clearly state your own opinion. Provide a balanced discussion before presenting your standpoint.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ensure your ideas are clearly presented and easy to understand. Organize your essay in a way that each paragraph focuses on a single idea, supported by examples or explanations. Use connective words to improve the flow of information.

relevant specific examples

Incorporate relevant examples that directly support your arguments. Using specific and relevant examples will make your essay more convincing and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In some countries, crime rates are increasing. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done about it?
In many parts of the world, crime is on the rise. In this essay, I plan to explore the consequences of this problem and possible solutions to them.
4.5
band
You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a chartiy event Write a letter of application to the organizers. In your letter: Explain why you are interested in helpin Give details of suitable past experience suggest ways you might help with the event.
I am writing this letter because l am interested to be volunteers in a chartiy event.
5.5
band
All cars that burns fossil fuels should be banned and electric car should replace them. Do you agree or disagree
In the modern world, the energy car is increasing due to many people think that these cars are good for environment. I agree that energy cars should replace normal cars. This essay will discuss why many people need to use energy cars from my point of view and will give reasons from my experiences.
4
band
In most of the societies, the role of mother and father differs what are the courses of this difference ? What will be the parental roles in future?
Parents play a central role in children's life. However, in many communities the responsibilities of mother and father are divided according to their role. In this essay I will not only discussed the duties of parents, but also represents the patenting roles in the upcoming future.
7.5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Spoken communication is more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write at least 250 words)
Communication is an essential factor in our social lives, and now with the growth of technologies, new methods of interaction have gone viral such as, texting, memes, reactions, and voice messages. Despite these ways of communication, I still agree with the fact that there is no better way of interacting that is more effective than verbal interactions.

some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views give your opinion.

Your opinion

In some countries, crime rates are increasing. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done about it?

You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a chartiy event Write a letter of application to the organizers. In your letter: Explain why you are interested in helpin Give details of suitable past experience suggest ways you might help with the event.

All cars that burns fossil fuels should be banned and electric car should replace them. Do you agree or disagree

In most of the societies, the role of mother and father differs what are the courses of this difference ? What will be the parental roles in future?

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Spoken communication is more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write at least 250 words)