The leaders or directors of organizations are often older people. But some people say that young people can also be a leader. Do you agree or disagree?
It is said that organizational
leaders
and directors are frequently older individuals. However
, I agree with many who argue that youths can also
be leaders
. Because they are up to date about the latest technologies , in addition
, they are full of energy and motivation
.
The reason why young people
can be organisational executives and directors,
is because they are not behind the times. Remove the comma
apply
In other words
, the younger generation has fresh perspectives, ideas
and deep understanding of the latest technologies, by increasing Knowledge and participating in management courses as well as
learning from the experience of older managers. therefore
, they can be innovative and open-minded compared with old leaders
. For example
, in the case of the president of Finland, he is young and popular and people
respect
for his management skills and leadership qualities. therefore
his country is constantly progressing day after day. As a
result
young Add a comma
result,
leaders
can develop to necessary skills and expertise to be effective in their roles.
The youths are thought to be full of energy and motivation
. while
there are old leaders
who make an effort to be active , in order their ages, they get tedious early and need not have worked very hard due to
not having sufficient motivation
.Despite the fact that young leaders
have enough motivation
and energy to achieve their goals in their roles and a successful future. Also
, they may face challenges and obstacles along the way, but they can adapt themselves to to
the conditions and try to solve them because they are passionate about their responsibilities.
In conclusion, Remove the redundancy
apply
although
most leaders
are older people
I agree that young people
can also
be leaders
,
because they have new skills of management through technology and are up to date and they are highly enthusiastic and committed to their duties.Remove the comma
apply
Submitted by ghorabibita on
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language
Consider varying your sentence structures and using more sophisticated vocabulary to enhance your expression.
style
Some sentences could be more concise. Try to avoid repetition and redundancy to maintain reader engagement.
grammar
Check for minor grammatical errors, such as the need for articles ('the latest technologies').
task response
Ensure that your examples are fully tied back to your main argument to maximize their impact.
task response
You've clearly articulated your stance on the issue and supported your points with relevant arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, and the paragraphs are well connected.
coherence and cohesion
Transition words and phrases are used effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes your points well and reinforces your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.