Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion
The factors leading to
success
in life
have been a hotly debated topic. Many people
think that success
comes from diligence while
others believe that financial resources and good looks play vital roles in achieving prosperous achievement in life
. In my perspective, although
both standpoints are justifiable, I firmly support the first idea.
On the other hand
, there are distinct reasons why people
think that wealth and beautiful appearance
are important factors that lead to success
. Firstly
, financial capital can bring up some advantages for entrepreneurs to facilitate the route to prosperity. In this
way, entrepreneurs can start their careers more easily than others. For instance
, they can invest in education to have a high-quality degree or develop skills to help them during the process of working. Furthermore
, the good looks also
bring up some opportunities or preferential treatment. Therefore
, a person who has gorgeous beauty can create a favorable
impression and enhance chances in Change the spelling
favourable
life
. For example
, some means of jobs require prerequisite conditions about appearance
such
as models, flight attendants, or performers.
On the other hand
, despite of many benefits of wealth and good appearance
, I still agree with the idea that industriousness
is the main reason that explains how people
succeed in life
. First of all, industriousness
is advantageous due to
it shapes good morals for people
. Consequently
, the personal morals required in the highly competitive working environment can be grown. Secondly
, persistence can enhance one’s ability to concentrate on goals. Thus
, an individual working hard will do better and gain more experience. Moreover
, industriousness
can bring up successful results in education for any person despite poverty. This
is illustrated by Abraham Lincoln who was the sixteen American president. He came from a poor family, but he was still successful by his diligence and self-learning ability. Last
but not least, diligence still helps a person achieve success
in life
in spite of not having good looks. As an example, Nick Vuijic doesn’t have a good appearance
however
he is still a talented performer. He got a prosperous career by
his determination and hard work.
In conclusion, despite the advantages of wealth and beauty, I strongly support the opinion that Change preposition
through
industriousness
can lead to a thriving life
because of its benefits. However
, individuals need to have reasonable financial resources and care for appearance
to get chances in life
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all ideas are clearly separated into distinct paragraphs to improve readability and clarity.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining vocabulary and reducing redundancy to make the essay more concise and impactful.
task achievement
Support arguments with more detailed examples and explanations to enhance the task achievement.
task achievement
The essay covers all parts of the prompt effectively and presents a balanced discussion of both views.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
The essay uses relevant and specific examples to support its points and arguments.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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