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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter, describe the situation, explain your problems and why it is difficult to work and say what kind of accommodation you would prefer.

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Dear Madam, I am writing to bring to your attention the difficulties I am facing in my current living situation in the college dormitory. I share a room with another student who consistently keeps the lights on at night, making it challenging for me to get a good night's sleep.
Moreover
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, the frequent gatherings and loud parties that my roommate hosts make it nearly impossible for me to focus on my studies and complete my assignments. As a working individual with a part-time job and a full-time student, I have to maintain a balance between my job responsibilities and academic commitments. Unfortunately, the lack of a conducive environment in my current living arrangement is hindering my ability to perform well in both areas.
Therefore
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, I would like to request a room reassignment to be paired with a roommate who shares a similar schedule and commitment to balancing work and studies.
This
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 would enable both of us to respect each other's need for a quiet environment to study and work effectively. I appreciate your attention to
this
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 matter and kindly ask for your assistance in finding a more suitable accommodation arrangement for me. Your prompt consideration of
this
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 request would greatly help me in focusing on my academic and professional obligations. Thank you for your understanding and support. Regards,

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task response
Task response: Say a bit more about the room problems. For example, say how often the parties happen or how many hours you cannot study.
task response
Task response: Be more clear about the kind of room you want. You can ask for a single room, or a room with a quiet student.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are in a clear order, but you can use one or two more link words like 'also' or 'because' to make the flow even smoother.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The closing is polite, but you should add your name after 'Regards' to finish the letter fully.
task response
Task response: You answer all parts of the question. You describe the situation, explain the study problem, and say what room you want.
task response
Task response: The tone is polite and right for a letter to a college officer.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter is easy to follow and each paragraph has one main idea.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The opening and ending are clear and suitable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accommodation officer
  • roommate
  • share a room
  • living arrangement
  • difficult to work
  • noise levels
  • study environment
  • privacy concerns
  • alternative accommodation
  • single room
  • academic performance
  • well-being
  • respectfully request
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