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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting thier usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #thier #doctor #development
the line
garph
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graph
 compares the fast food consumption of
teenagars
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teenagers
 in
makkah
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Makkah
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 between 2003 and 2004 , a period of 25 years .
overall
 , the consumption of fish and chips declined over the period ,
whereas
 the amount of
pizz
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pizza
 and
pizz
 that were eaten
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increased
incrased
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increased
, in 2003 , the most popular fast food with
makkah
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Makkah
show examples
 teenagers was fish and chips , being eaten 100 times a year ,
this
 was far higher than
pizz
 and
pizz
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pizza
 , which were consumed
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approximately
approxiamtely
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approximately
 5 times a year ,
However
 , apart
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from
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form
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from
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 a brief rise again from 1998 to 2001 , the
consuption
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consumption
 of fish and chips gradually declined over the
25 year
Add a hyphen
25-year
show examples
 timescale to finish at just under 40 .
Submitted by naifhlwani4 on

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task response
Ensure your essay stays on topic and fully addresses the task. This response doesn't answer the question about the perception of alternative medicine, and instead, it discusses fast food consumption among teenagers.
coherence
Organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from one to the next. This response lacks a structured approach to the topic given.
cohesion
Work on grammar, spelling, and punctuation. There are multiple errors such as 'garph' instead of 'graph', 'makkah' should be capitalized, and 'pizz' is presumably a typo for 'pizza'. Regular practice and proofreading can greatly improve this.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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