In developing countries, some people think governments should introduce new technology for people in order to improve the quality of life, while others believe governments should offer free education. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
The modern
Correct article usage
Modern
technology
has major effects on pupils
Change noun form
pupils'
pupil's
life
which Fix the agreement mistake
lives
make
them so easy Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
as
Correct word choice
apply
compare
to past Change the form of the verb
compared
time
. With the help of Fix the agreement mistake
times
internet
and Correct article usage
the internet
smartphones
Add a comma
smartphones,
people
can easily do hard
job in Add an article
a hard
couple
Correct article usage
a couple
seconds
Change preposition
of seconds
such
as sending information by email or messages. Some people
believe that government
need to spend some Correct article usage
the government
money
on technology
for better
lives of Correct article usage
the better
people
but some thinks
that Correct subject-verb agreement
think
education
must be free for better
lives of Correct article usage
the better
people
. I will discuss both views in upcoming paragraphs
Firstly
, government
Add an article
the government
required
to use Add a missing verb
is required
money
on technology
for good life
quality of people
and they need to spend Change preposition
for people
in
Change preposition
on
health
sector Add an article
the health
such
as buying high
Add a hyphen
high-technology
technology
equipment.Government
needs to consume Add an article
The government
money
to order some high quality
machines which are curing dangerous diseases Add a hyphen
high-quality
such
as cancer, HIV
. Some developing nations Correct word choice
and HIV
does
not have Change the verb form
do
such
machines where so many people
are
die Unnecessary verb
apply
due to
lack
of equipment. Correct article usage
a lack
Therefore
, these machines can use for
save the Change preposition
to
life
of people
.
On the other hand
, some people
are intrested
that Correct your spelling
interested
government
needs to spend money
on free education
because student
are Fix the agreement mistake
students
future
of Correct article usage
the future
nation
. With Add an article
the nation
a nation
the
free Correct article usage
apply
education
they become Add a comma
education,
success
in Replace the word
successful
life
and can do lot
for Add an article
a lot
Add an article
the nation
nation for
Change preposition
nation's
developing
. With the help of free Replace the word
development
education
students get vast
majority of Add an article
the vast
a vast
opperuinites
in different sectors where they can express their talent. For Correct your spelling
opportunities
examples
, some nations have Fix the agreement mistake
example
expansive
Add an article
an expansive
education
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
where
some students Correct word choice
that
did not
afford and Verb problem
cannot
did
not get Wrong verb form
do
chance
to show their talent. That's Correct article usage
a chance
way
Correct your spelling
why
government
should spend Correct article usage
the government
money
on free education
for better
future Correct article usage
a better
of
students Change preposition
for
as well as
nation
.
Add an article
the nation
a nation
To conclude
, I believe spending money
on modern technology
by government
is Correct article usage
the government
better
way Add an article
a better
the better
for dealing
with Change preposition
to deal
high risk
Add a hyphen
high-risk
disease
but they have to consider the other factor Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
for
free Change preposition
of
education
which Add a missing verb
is helpful
helpful
for Replace the word
helps
nation
to develop fast with Add an article
the nation
a nation
support
of young and educated generations.Add an article
the support
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that the response comprehensively addresses all parts of the prompt. This involves discussing both views with equal depth and providing a clear personal opinion. Make sure your opinion is stated in the introduction and reaffirmed in the conclusion for greater clarity.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on structuring your essay more logically. This could involve organizing your paragraphs more clearly around each main point. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal its main idea to the reader.
task achievement
You've made a good effort in supporting your main points with examples. However, to further enhance your essay, try to include more detailed and specific examples that vividly demonstrate your point. This could involve citing specific countries, studies, or tangible outcomes of policies.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Use a variety of linking phrases and words to guide the reader through your argument. This will also enhance the overall flow of your essay.