Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays,
children
spend their time on
smartphones
for hours every day.
This
habit can develop several impacts, both positive and negative.
Although
there are still some positive effects, these are negligible compared to the negatives.
This
essay will discuss why
children
really like to play
smartphones
excessively and the drawbacks that arise from it
as well as
evidence that supports it.
Firstly
, in the middle of
this
digital era, reliance towards
smartphones
is very high and it is so difficult to restrict ourselves from getting addicted to
smartphones
.
For instance
,
children
utilize their
smartphones
to learn,
while
they
also
have several
games
installed on them. In consequence, if they play their
games
all day long, they will get addicted without realizing that the
games
can establish bad characteristics in their personality. From my observation towards
children
around me, the one who plays
smartphones
excessively tends to be bad-tempered because they are too focused on their fictional worlds.
Secondly
, playing smartphone all day can lead to bad time management.
Children
who get addicted to
smartphones
, whether playing
games
or watching series, tend to forget everything else around them.
For example
, it is a common problem at schools, where many students forget to finish their assignments because they are too focused on binge-watching their favourite series. Clearly, it influences unresponsibility traits towards the
children
. In conclusion, excessive smartphone usage can have numerous negative effects on
children
's behaviours and
children
's educational progress. The more addictive some tools are, the more dangerous they will influence you. Despite of many benefits that smartphone provides, some strict restriction is a must to avoid the addictiveness of
smartphones
towards
children
.
Submitted by hahahihi on

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task achievement
Expand your introduction by clearly stating your opinion on the topic. This will provide a stronger grounding for your essay and guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Try to cover both sides of the argument more evenly, especially when asked whether something is positive or negative. This will ensure a more balanced and comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This improves the flow of your essay and helps readers understand the connection between your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Include a short summary of your main points in the conclusion to reinforce your argument. This will help to round off your essay more effectively.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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