Some people say that the current obsession with technology and the internet means that we are creating a generation of people that have poor social skills.

#people #obsession #technology #internet #generation #skills

Nowadays, some individuals believe that the excessive use of technology and internet-based platforms is resulting in the emergence of

people

with poor social

skills

. In my opinion, spending numerous hours on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Internet-related

technologies

such

as Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, online shops

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

etc. can have a wide range of adverse effects on

people

’s social

skills

. It is my view that

people

who are constantly online tend to have poorer interpersonal

skills

For instance

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

who are addicted to the Internet might fail to connect effectively with others.

Thus

, they are less likely to engage in various social events which hinders their ability to make new friends in real life and develop their communication

skills

. The deceptive nature of new

technologies

is another reason for

isolation

Add an article

the isolation

show examples

people

. In cyberspace, many

people

are not what they appear to be and

this

can discourage

people

from interacting with others in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. These

people

decide to stay at home for most of the day

due to

a sense of inadequacy.

In contrast

, some

people

claim that modern

technologies

spread our communications. They firmly insist that utilizing new means of communication

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

capable of social

skills

enhancement.

However

, I do not find

this

argument convincing as the

technology

Replace the word

technological

show examples

age has caused major problems in terms of our ability to communicate. These days,

people

find it difficult to visit each other and spend time outside of their homes.

Consequently

, their social friends are restricted by the online platforms which have been installed on their phones. In conclusion, I completely agree with the notion that extreme reliance on updated

technologies

can have detrimental effects on

communication

Correct article usage

the communication

show examples

skills

people

in society because the number of real-life connections is limited and

people

are often tempted by misinformation on social media. Indeed, these forms of technology are able to isolate

people

and keep them away from meaningful social interactions.

Submitted by maryam.nutrition1988 on Tue Mar 26 2024

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task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt comprehensively. Incorporate more varied and specific examples to support your points. This could include mentioning studies, statistics, or detailed personal anecdotes that reinforce your argument.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by focusing on the logical flow of ideas. While your essay is well-structured, transitions between paragraphs can be smoother. Use a wider range of linking phrases and topic sentences that clearly signal the direction of your argument to the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that the current obsession with technology and the internet means that we are creating a generation of people that have poor social skills.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some People believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should Ье required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should Ье free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In some countries more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or the building they live in

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?