some people think that success in lìe comé from hard work and determination while others think that there are more imporrtant factors as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #success #lìe #comé #work #determination #imporrtant #factors #money #appearance

It is often said that money is a

tranding

Correct your spelling

trend

. Indeed, people are being evaluated based on their wealth,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

lead to a long gap between the rich and the poor. Some believe that working hard in

life

will

enventually

Correct your spelling

eventually

make you successful,

whereas

others

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

contrast, believe that it is all about being wealthy and having good looks.

Thus

both views are logical, in my own perspective, hard work is the key

also

the fundamental way to

becomig

Correct your spelling

becoming

become

powerful. In the

forth coming

Correct your spelling

forthcoming

show examples

paragraph,

this

essay will elaborate more on both views by exemplifying lucid

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

. First and foremost, nowadays we live in a materialistic world where most individuals judge others

Verb problem

based

show examples

on their appearance and property. Having good fortune means being able to buy prohibitively expensive clothes which can

updrade

Correct your spelling

upgrade

your position in

eyes

Correct article usage

the eyes

show examples

of someone, having the ability to purchase real estate and access to the best unit of school or education.

Therefore

priority

Add an article

the priority

a priority

show examples

of people will assume that as

person

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

is successful in his or her

life

, they are able to enjoy

life

to the

fallest

Correct your spelling

fullest

show examples

Moreover

, we can not deny that a person's appearance is a key factor in success.

For instance

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

modelling industry having a good look and fit body is essential to be successful.

Furthermore

, there are groups of people who

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

money is everything

with

Change preposition

show examples

life

, it could make you famous and ambitious. In condition,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

being good-looking

also

leads you to the same.

Although

it is somehow correct, in my

opinion

Add the comma(s)

opinion,

show examples

there is much less chance of

this

can be happened

Wrong verb form

happening

show examples

. In light of

this

, we rarely see a wealthy human who reaches

thier

Correct your spelling

their

goal without being dedicatedly or

whereas

without working will

enventually

Correct your spelling

eventually

lead to failure.

For example

, a businessman will never succeed only by being rich.

To sum up

, everything mentioned and both views are keys to reaching what you want. But in my own perspective, it is all about passion and dedication rather than being good-looking without working hard to succeed

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue Mar 26 2024

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Introduction

Ensure a clear, concise introduction that presents the main themes to be discussed. Avoid overly complex sentences, and aim for clarity and straightforwardness.

Coherence

Improve your essay by ensuring all paragraphs are cohesive and logically structured. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences that reinforce that idea.

Examples

Use specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. This strengthens your points and makes your essay more persuasive.

Grammar

Review and edit your essay for grammatical errors and typos to enhance readability and professionalism.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

334 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think that success in lìe comé from hard work and determination while others think that there are more imporrtant factors as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this.

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important.