Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, the majority of
people
believe that having devoltion
and hard work will Correct your spelling
devotion
devolution
allows
them to be Change the verb form
allow
Add an article
a success
success
, Replace the word
successful
besides
, others claim that money
and appearance
are more crucial. This
writer lent more towards on
the first idea and will elucidate in the Change preposition
apply
follwing
essays.
On the one hand, dedication can help humans gain more experience, knowledge and promotion which develop themselves day by day. Being hard-working Correct your spelling
following
lead
workers Replace the word
leads
practice
more in their fields and gain new Fix the infinitive
to practice
opportunity
in life. Taking Emma Watson as an example, she has not stopped endeavouring since she was a child, she has improved herself through many years and the result is that she has Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
being
a big boss of a famous company. Wrong verb form
been
Devoltion
and hard-working are two necessary factors in each person's life that lead Correct your spelling
Devolution
people
being
successful.
Change the verb form
to be
On the other hand
, there still
other elements which make humans come to Add a missing verb
are still
success
, those one maybe
not come from their Correct your spelling
may
owns
, it can be their family, Replace the word
own
the
beauty of Correct word choice
or the
lucky
person. Add an article
a lucky
the lucky
Moreover
, people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
tent
to Correct your spelling
tend
spent
more Wrong verb form
spend
money
on improving their appearance
due to
their work requirement
that Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
help
them gain more Change the verb form
helps
opportunity
in work. Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
For instance
, plastic surgery hospital
are increasing Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
for
the demand of both genders to change their outlook Change preposition
apply
for
easily apply for many jobs Change preposition
to
such
as models. Consequently
, preparing for outlook and having enough money
are both significant constituent
in order to Change to a plural noun
constituents
being
Change the verb
be
success
.
In my view point, having dedication and patience are the most important factors which help Replace the word
successful
people
being
Wrong verb form
be
Add an article
a success
success
, Replace the word
successful
this
way help
humans get more experience and failure that improve themselves in the future. All challenges can be Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
dealed
with if Correct your spelling
dealt
people
get enough commitment, rather than their appearance
or even their money
.
Taking everything into consideration, both devoltion
Correct your spelling
devolution
devotion
appearance
Change to a plural noun
appearances
have
their own values. Change the verb form
has
However
, determination always be a good way to getting
Wrong verb form
get
success
.Submitted by khoi11nk11e on
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Task Response
Make sure to address the question directly and develop your argument comprehensively. Your essay should clearly discuss both views and provide a reasoned opinion, ensuring you cover all parts of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be followed by supporting sentences that relate directly to that idea. Transitions between paragraphs can also be improved for better flow.
Language Proficiency
Avoid spelling and grammar errors as they can distract the reader and make your essay harder to understand. Practice proofreading your work or use tools to check your writing before finalizing it.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive. Ensure that the examples you choose are directly relevant to the topic and your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.