Some people think that success in life comes from hard working and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many individuals believe that life success is affected by hard work and emphasis
whereas
there are many oppositions admit other factors like finance and outlooks play a more crucial role.
This
writing will discuss both views and prove that the former factors are more reasonable, thanks to the priority of real life. To be successful
people
have to work and study on their way through. Interviewers emphasise personal qualities when they have recruitment that are knowledge, characteristics or maybe soft skills. There are a lot of businesses
come
Correct pronoun usage
that come
show examples
up with empty hands like Google or Apple which are settled down by ambitious and well-managed
people
. No point in success if
people
give up when they face any entangles so they must keep track of their determination and strategies or maybe think of adaptation. Failure becomes the opportunity for study and alternating if you are hardworking and determinative which are recounted by most of the grants. On the other side, some say that
people
will not succeed by having no financial support or an acceptable
appearance
. Particularly, there is an existence of many kinds of jobs that require money and a physical outlook which are the entertainment field or start-up
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
. Nowadays, most entrepreneurs find it hard to start a business without any sources of capital or investment that why there is a TV program to call them. Almost all
people
worked
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
in the entertainment industry have to pay attention to their
appearance
which brings up a good first impression and respect from their audiences or bosses.
To sum up
,
people
have to show off their qualities to be more successful either hardworking and determination or money and
appearance
.
While
money and
appearance
have their own particular fields,
however
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hardworking and determinative
people
tend to be respected in all sources of jobs

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logical structure
Focus on clear essay structure. Start with an introduction that presents the topic and your opinion, followed by body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion summarizing your stance.
introduction conclusion present
Enhance your introduction and conclusion by clearly stating your opinion and summarizing the key points discussed in the essay.
supported main points
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument.
complete response
Ensure you fully address all parts of the prompt. Discuss both views thoroughly and provide a clear, explicit opinion on the matter.
clear comprehensive ideas
Aim for clearer expression of ideas. Work on sentence structure and paragraph transitions to make your essay easier to follow.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific, relevant examples to support your statements. This will make your arguments more compelling and concrete.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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