Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child development. However, others argue that other things like Television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A group of individuals present the view that
parents
play the most crucial role
in a child
's development
, whereas
others believe that external factors like television or friends have a more significant influence. I strongly agree with the former opinion.
On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that parents
are the primary influencers in shaping a child
's values, behavior
, and attitudes. From an early age, Change the spelling
behaviour
children
tend to look up to their parents
as role
models, which significantly impacts their development
. Parents
also
provide essential emotional support and guidance, which is crucial for the psychological well-being of the child
. Additionally
, they can regulate the media content their children
consume, minimizing the potential negative impacts of harmful material. This
involvement ensures a safe environment where children
can develop a balanced and well-rounded personality.
They also
present the sound argument that the quality of time spent with parents
has a lasting effect on the child
's self-esteem and mental health. The bond between parents
and children
forms a foundation for trust and security, fostering confidence and emotional resilience. Without this
solid foundation, children
may struggle to cope with challenges later in life, making the parental role
irreplaceable in a child
's upbringing.
On the other hand
, another group of people claims that external factors such
as television and peer influence can play a more prominent role
in child
development
. They insist that exposure to diverse ideas and cultures through media can broaden a child
's understanding of the world, while
spending time with friends can foster important social skills, such
as empathy and conflict resolution. However
, I do not find this
argument as convincing. Although
external influences can contribute to a child
's growth, they cannot replace the personalized attention and values instilled by parents
. Moreover
, without proper guidance, excessive exposure to media or friends can lead to negative influences, such
as peer pressure or harmful content, which can hinder a child
's development
.
To conclude
, in my view, parents
hold the most significant role
in shaping a child
's future. This
is because they provide emotional support and values that create the foundation of a child
's character. Moreover
, while
external factors can influence development
, they cannot substitute the irreplaceable role
of parents
in regulating and guiding a child
's experiences.Submitted by www.prnmmdn on
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task achievement
While the essay provides a complete response to the prompt, adding more specific examples would make your arguments more compelling. Try to include examples from studies, statistics, or personal anecdotes to further illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported, but you can strengthen them by elaborating more on each idea. Providing a bit more detail or explaining the nuances would add depth to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow from introduction to conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize and reinforce your argument, giving the essay a cohesive feel.
task achievement
The essay presents comprehensive and clear ideas that address both sides of the argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example