Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child development. However, others argue that other things like Television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A group of individuals present the view that
parents
play the most crucial
role
in a
child
's
development
,
whereas
others believe that external factors like television or friends have a more significant influence. I strongly agree with the former opinion. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that
parents
are the primary influencers in shaping a
child
's values,
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, and attitudes. From an early age,
children
tend to look up to their
parents
as
role
models, which significantly impacts their
development
.
Parents
also
provide essential emotional support and guidance, which is crucial for the psychological well-being of the
child
.
Additionally
, they can regulate the media content their
children
consume, minimizing the potential negative impacts of harmful material.
This
involvement ensures a safe environment where
children
can develop a balanced and well-rounded personality. They
also
present the sound argument that the quality of time spent with
parents
has a lasting effect on the
child
's self-esteem and mental health. The bond between
parents
and
children
forms a foundation for trust and security, fostering confidence and emotional resilience. Without
this
solid foundation,
children
may struggle to cope with challenges later in life, making the parental
role
irreplaceable in a
child
's upbringing.
On the other hand
, another group of people claims that external factors
such
as television and peer influence can play a more prominent
role
in
child
development
. They insist that exposure to diverse ideas and cultures through media can broaden a
child
's understanding of the world,
while
spending time with friends can foster important social skills,
such
as empathy and conflict resolution.
However
, I do not find
this
argument as convincing.
Although
external influences can contribute to a
child
's growth, they cannot replace the personalized attention and values instilled by
parents
.
Moreover
, without proper guidance, excessive exposure to media or friends can lead to negative influences,
such
as peer pressure or harmful content, which can hinder a
child
's
development
.
To conclude
, in my view,
parents
hold the most significant
role
in shaping a
child
's future.
This
is because they provide emotional support and values that create the foundation of a
child
's character.
Moreover
,
while
external factors can influence
development
, they cannot substitute the irreplaceable
role
of
parents
in regulating and guiding a
child
's experiences.
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task achievement
While the essay provides a complete response to the prompt, adding more specific examples would make your arguments more compelling. Try to include examples from studies, statistics, or personal anecdotes to further illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported, but you can strengthen them by elaborating more on each idea. Providing a bit more detail or explaining the nuances would add depth to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow from introduction to conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize and reinforce your argument, giving the essay a cohesive feel.
task achievement
The essay presents comprehensive and clear ideas that address both sides of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary educators
  • role models
  • emotional support
  • psychological development
  • expose to new ideas
  • broaden horizons
  • social skills
  • sense of belonging
  • identity formation
  • regulate content
  • mitigating potential negative impacts
  • important life skills
  • negotiation
  • empathy
  • conflict resolution
  • quality of the relationship
  • lasting impact
  • self-esteem
  • mental health
  • educational programs
  • supplement school education
  • additional learning opportunities
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