IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Animal testing is the only way to guarantee the safety of new products Do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

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Animal testing in medicine has been carried out for a long time. Scientists believe it is a step forward for humanity,
while
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 others think that it can be harmful to
animals
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. In my opinion, I agree that animal testing can be a benefit for everyone and should be continuously done.
Firstly
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,
animals
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 can be used in scientific
research
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 to help create medicine.
This
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 is because
animals
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 share physiological similarities with humans, making them valuable for
research
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 .
For example
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,
animals
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,
such
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 as mice, share a high degree of genetic and biological similarity with humans, making them invaluable models for studying human physiology, including the cardiovascular system, where both species possess a
similarly
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 structured heart and circulatory system, facilitating
research
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 into heart diseases and potential.
Hence
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,
this
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 experiment undoubtedly can develop potential cures which can save countless lives.
Secondly
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, animal testing is essential for evaluating new drugs and ensuring their safety before human trials.
In other words
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, many medications have been invented through
this
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 experiment. Undoubtedly, without
this
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 experimentation, potential risks to human health may not be identified, leading to unknown effects.
For instance
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, the development of penicillin involved extensive testing on
animals
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 which
as a result
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 has helped ensure its effectiveness in treating bacterial infections before human use.
Moreover
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,
this
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research
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 can treat many inherited and contagious diseases. Owing to
this
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 fact, animal testing is carried out continuously in order to ensure public safety because is the number 1 priority
above all
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 else.
To sum up
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, I once again reaffirm my position that animal testing can ensure product safety and medical advancement. If animal testing were banned, people would medical industry would face a lot of challenges.

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task achievement
While you have presented a clear opinion, make sure to explore counterarguments more thoroughly to demonstrate a balanced understanding of the topic, which is critical for the task achievement aspect of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows good logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To enhance logical flow, consider using more diverse linking words and phrases that not only connect sentences but also paragraphs. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
To support your main points more effectively, consider incorporating a wider variety of evidence, including statistics, case studies, or expert opinions, not just examples. This can add depth to your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
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