Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries, and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?
Presently, eating unhealthy
food
, which causes obesity, is a major problem in first-world countries. It is commonly argued that governments should implement more amount of tax on fast food
in order to curb the problem. I think this
can absolutely have a positive effect and would be more effective alongside other measures that I attempt to outline below.
Imposing a tax on unhealthy food
would decrease the number of people
who consume such
foods. Nowadays, numerous people
, especially in developed countries, resort to convenience and pre-prepared meals because of their work times and busy schedules. Obviously, these are made with low-quality ingredients that are high in unhealthy materials, such
as oil and salt. This
might negatively affect the health and fitness of society members, creating many obese people
suffering from different cardiovascular diseases such
as coronary arteries and sudden heart attacks. As a result
, taxing people
more on fast food
may encourage them to lessen their use, and at the same time, the raised money could be invested in the improvement of healthy food
production.
However
, increasing the prices of such
meals can be way more effective when the government educates individuals and also
reduces the price of nutritious products. Firstly
, increasing the awareness of individuals about the negatives of such
diets
would be of high importance. Without being persuaded, people
wouldn't stop consuming junk food
. So advertisements are needed to aware people
of the implications of such
diets
. Following
this
, reducing the price of nutritious ingredients, which are produced through organic farming and free-range, without using pesticides and fertilizers, would significantly change individuals' minds, switching toward balanced diets
. Therefore
, education and decreasing the cost of healthy products would undoubtedly affect people
to consume more of such
produces
.
To summarize, obesity and the resulting diseases that are Replace the word
products
due to
unbalanced diets
and the usage of unhealthy ingredients are totally prevalent and common in this
era in developed countries. However
, steps could be taken by the governments to manipulate the cost of foods available, as well as
increase the people
's awareness, resulting in a smaller number of those who consume comfort food
.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
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task achievement
Try to add more varied and specific examples to support your points. While you mention general outcomes and strategies, incorporating real-world examples or hypothetical scenarios could make your arguments more persuasive and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth flow between ideas using cohesive devices. You've done well organizing your essay into paragraphs and using some cohesive links. To enhance this, consider using a broader range of transitions and making the links between ideas even clearer.
coherence cohesion
End each body paragraph with a concluding sentence that ties its main point back to the essay's overall argument. This can help reinforce the coherence of your essay and makes your argument more convincing.
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