Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned while others think that people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is a contention on banning dangerous sports

while

some argue that it violates the freedom of choice. I believe that we should not dictate to other people

Change preposition

apply

show examples

what to do especially if it does not concern nor affect us. If extreme recreation does not interest you, it does not give you the right to stop

others

from enjoying it as long as

safety

measures are well-founded and observed. There are

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of people who enjoy extreme sports because of the benefits it brings. Many research showed a significant increase in dopamine, the happy hormone of the brain, which triggers better mood and mental health

while

others

report that doing

this

recreational activity helps them to think quickly, be in the moment and decrease a considerable amount of stress from life. Adults who are fond of skydiving,

for instance

, shared that being in the air and free falling makes them reduce their fears and live life even better.

In contrast

, there are

safety

issues that come to light which might cause life-changing accidents and even death. Some may have lost a limb, broken a bone, and lost a loved one but these are rare instances that happen when

safety

becomes the least of their concern. As long as

safety

rules and regulations are maintained and moderation is observed, people can enjoy dangerous sports as much as they can. We have different ways to enjoy life.

While

others

may enjoy going to cafes to unwind,

others

love to do crazy things beyond our wildest imagination and we don't have the license to stop them from doing their own thing.

Submitted by decxelnarjoyragas on Tue Mar 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

Introduce a wider range of linking phrases to improve the flow between ideas.

task achievement

Try to evenly discuss both views before presenting your opinion for a more balanced argument.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific examples or data to support your arguments, enhancing the relevance and impact of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Conclude your essay with a clear summary of your main points and reiterate your opinion for a stronger impact.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
engagement
incentives
obesity
recreation
well-being
peer pressure
physical fitness
endurance
balance
teamwork
coordination
confidence
self-esteem
discipline
facilities
accessible
affordable
curriculum
extracurricular
inclusion

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Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned while others think that people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries are investing new technology to deal with the public. Why it is happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of goverment money?

Nowadays there is a tendancy to relocate overseas for lucrative jobs.While a faction of people holds the notion that this movement is challanging (?)for juveniles, others argue that it is better for children.

Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?