some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion
It is believed that the source of
sucess
in life is Correct your spelling
success
from
hard work and determination, Change preposition
apply
while
some invididuals
think that some factors Correct your spelling
individuals
such
as money
and appearance are more important. In my opinion
both of Add a comma
opinion,
that
are Correct pronoun usage
them
all
important Correct determiner usage
apply
this
author discuss
both views.
hard work is a factor that every successful person has. Everything in life must be Correct subject-verb agreement
discusses
learn
hard, nobody is unsuccessful if they are studious, even genius Wrong verb form
learned
also
have to work hard to be the best version of their own. Determination, Add a missing verb
is an
an
factor of successful Change the article
a
people
, people
must be patient with their goal, getting bored fasly
must be a barrier Correct your spelling
easily
on
our Change preposition
to
success
way, people
also
have to focus on their goal everyone should have only one goal to achieve, if now they might get unconcentrated.
money
and appearance are same
important as those two elements. None of Correct article usage
the same
things
can be done if there Correct determiner usage
these things
was
a lack of Wrong verb form
is
money
, investors are people
who help raising
Wrong verb form
raise
money
for early business to make it successful. Appearance cannot be neglected, having a good look gives you many oppurtunities
to Correct your spelling
opportunities
success
in life and Replace the word
succeed
also
gain respect Add the comma(s)
, fromother
fromother
Correct your spelling
from other
people
.
In my opinion, all of those factores
support each Correct your spelling
factors
factories
others
. If someone Change to a singular noun
other
want
to Change the verb form
wants
success
, they Replace the word
succeed
migh
have to have four elements at the same time.
in conclusion, none of Correct your spelling
might
those factor
is more important than Change the determiner
that factor
those factors
others
. On the way Correct article usage
the others
of
Change preposition
to
success
, a person might have to have all those elementsSubmitted by zky1705202 on
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task achievement
Expand your introduction with a clearer thesis statement to present your viewpoint more distinctly. Introduce the topic, the opposing viewpoints concisely, and state your stance clearly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your claims. Examples make your arguments more persuasive and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Focus on developing each paragraph further. Each paragraph should explore a single main idea, supported by detailed examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Organise your essay more effectively by using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main point of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Improve your grammar and spelling. Errors can distract the reader and make your arguments less clear. Consider using tools or resources to practice these skills.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.