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Writing Samples
Band 8

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?

#university #students #part #studies
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Various controversies have emerged as to whether studying overseas is necessary for college
students
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. Some
people
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 claim that it is a waste of
money
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. From my perspective,
however
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, the merits of overseas studies far outweigh its drawbacks. One primary benefit for
students
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 is the opportunity to experience various cultures.
This
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 can force them to adapt to totally different lifestyles and broaden their horizons. When
people
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 are in a new place, they usually encounter obstacles that force them to find solutions to tackle these problems.
For instance
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, international
students
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 are usually shocked by local customs that are significantly different from their country;
nevertheless
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,
such
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 experience will equip an individual with the capability to handle many circumstances.
On the other hand
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, if someone wants to go to another country to acquire knowledge, they need to have more responsibility and
money
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. The living cost overseas tends to be more expensive than their origin hometown.
However
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, the salary can be much higher
as well as
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 the cost in these foreign areas. Take soft engineering as an example; To get an engineering degree,
people
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 need five times more
money
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 to study in the US,
while
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 the rewards of work can be ten times than those who work in Taiwan.
Therefore
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, if
people
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 can find a well-paid job after graduating, it can easily cover the
money
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 they have spent. By way of conclusion, I firmly believe that studying abroad is beneficial to
students
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. Not only can they broaden their horizons, but they can
also
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 earn considerable incomes. Everyone should give it a try if they have
this
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 great opportunity.
Submitted by weber61543 on

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Continue to provide clear and relevant examples to support your points, as this strengthens your arguments.
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Ensure a clear structure in your essay, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. This helps in enhancing the readability and flow of your essay.
General
For an even higher score, consider diversifying your sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate a wider range of language use.
Task Achievement
You did a great job of providing logical arguments and relevant examples to support your points, making your essay convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well and makes your stance clear from the beginning.
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