Some people think that ambition is essential fo success. To what extend do you agree?

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Being an ambitious person and having a strong desire to succeed is one of the main feelings that help us to be stronger. Some people argue that it is crucial to achieve their goals.

However

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, I partially agree with

this

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statement because there are many other skills, feelings and thoughts required to accomplish our goals.

Firstly

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, it is well-known that ambition could help our motivation to remain intact daily and help us to stay focused on our targets, which is explained from psychological and biological sources owing to our flight or fight response being switched on.

For example

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, a lot of neurotransmitters are released,

such

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as dopamine and adrenaline.

However

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, there are other attributes that are vital for achieving our dreams

such

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as discipline, consistency, and hard work

as well as

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opportunities

should

Correct pronoun usage

that should

show examples

be leveraged.

For example

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, Cristiano Ronaldo was raised in impoverished circumstances,

however

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, nowadays is one of the best soccer players worldwide. All of

this

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Add a missing verb

is related

show examples

to long routines of training and

keep

Verb problem

apply

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practicing by fixing errors.

On the other hand

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, Miley Cyrus won The

Grammys's

Change noun form

Grammys

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Prize by performing

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

her

his

show examples

best song "Flowers".

Nevertheless

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, there were many sacrifices behind her success.

Hence

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, both cases were not only about talent but

also

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improving

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about improving

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themselves by working hard

everyday

Replace the word

every day

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To sum up

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, many skills and sacrifices will boost our careers to achieve our dreams.

Then

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, it

Unnecessary verb

apply

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required more than just ambition to keep performing all of the yearly, monthly, and yearly tasks until

succeed

Wrong verb form

succeeded

show examples

Then

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, people should be aware of all of these skills and characteristics.

Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on Tue Mar 26 2024

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intro conclusion

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction and conclusion were somewhat brief and could be developed further.

logical structure

Work on logically structuring your paragraphs. Begin with a topic sentence, provide examples or evidence, and then analyze this evidence in relation to your argument.

cohesion

Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs more effectively.

task response

Make sure to address all parts of the task. Discuss both sides of the argument, and make your own position clear throughout the essay.

support examples

Provide more specific examples to support your points. Ensure these examples are clearly related to the thesis of your essay.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Some people think that ambition is essential fo success. To what extend do you agree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this positive or negative development?

Every year, many people move to large cities to live and work. This is one of the biggest problems in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

ome children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In the technology age, students increasingly rely on computers and digital tools for their education.

It is often argued by many that historical objects should be brought back to their country of origin. To what extent do you agree or disagree?