People living in the twenty-first century have a better quality of life than people who live in previous countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The issue of whether individuals have a better standard of living than their past generations has been a controversial topic. I am inclined to agree with the viewpoint that the living standard possessed by the population is predominantly improved. There are several reasons to elaborate on
this
standpoint.
Firstly
, from the perspective of economics, the boon of economic advancement is an inexorable reality, which significantly affects the daily life of the public. On the one hand, nations are able to gain better education as more students are entitled to attend university to absorb knowledge and develop skills.
This
enables them to specialize in their areas and
further
heightens their competitiveness in the labour market.
By comparison
, few folks could obtain the same educational resources previously, and it is noteworthy that the majority of them were wealthy males only.
Secondly
, in the aspect of social equity, the diversity of professions for women has been fully expanded without a doubt. The full-time homemaker is no longer mandatory.
By contrast
, freely exploring their own career trajectory has been commonly seen nowadays for females. Meanwhile, girls are widely encouraged to receive tertiary education to cultivate their calibre. public are gradually witnessing the ever-changing power and role of women in contemporary society.
However
,
this
is never considered as an objective that can be smoothly attained without making considerable commitments and efforts accomplished by many generations. In conclusion, considering those aspects, it is imprudent to blindly underestimate the advance in the quality of life. It enables the masses to enjoy better standards than their previous generations.
Submitted by pengwan4-c on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay presents a clear introduction in which you state your viewpoint directly. Though your viewpoint is somewhat clear, a more explicit statement would reinforce clarity.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, integrate more specific examples to support your arguments. While you've provided general support, citing specific studies, historical facts, or statistics would strengthen your case.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating more seamless transitions between paragraphs. Utilizing cohesive devices such as conjunctions or transitional phrases will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Consider revising for varied sentence structures and vocabulary. To elevate your essay's coherence and cohesion, diverse language use and complex sentence constructions will make your writing more engaging and fluent.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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