IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other people believe that access to the internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services.

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Some
people
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 believe that the government should provide citizens with free
access
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 to the
Internet
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,
while
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 others think that it should not be provided for free. In the following essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.
To begin
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 with, the
Internet
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 is widely used in modern society and has replaced almost all traditional services
such
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 as newspapers, television, and phones. As the
Internet
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 makes life more convenient than before, it leads
people
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 to rely more on it.
For instance
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, more and more education systems and healthcare facilities tend to use the
Internet
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 rather than paper-based materials.
However
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, some
people
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 cannot afford it, which may result in inequality in society.
Therefore
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,
this
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 raises the question
whether
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of whether
show examples
governments
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 should take responsibility for providing free
Internet
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access
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.

Before the
Internet
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 became the main trend worldwide,
people
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 had to pay for newspapers, television, and phones. The cost of the
Internet
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 is very high, which puts a lot of pressure on
governments
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.
As a result
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,
governments
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 are forced to rely on higher taxes to support
people
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 who cannot afford
Internet
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access
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 at school or work. It can be concluded that
governments
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 are not responsible for providing free
Internet
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access
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. In my opinion,
while
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 the
Internet
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 is as necessary as a phone, public funds should be used for more urgent issues
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such
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, such
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 as poverty and starvation.
To sum up
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, as the
Internet
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 has become widely used across different fields, some
people
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 believe that everyone should have
access
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 to it,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that it should not be provided for free.
However
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, I believe that
governments
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 should focus on more urgent issues.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides and gives your view, but your ideas need more depth.
task response
Explain why free Internet is a right, and why it is not, with clearer reasons in each body paragraph.
task response
Use one or two real and clear examples. Your example about school and health is good, but it is still general.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are weak. The second body paragraph moves fast from old services to tax, so the flow is not very smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Make one main idea for each paragraph and support it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Words like however, therefore, and as a result should match the idea before and after them.
task response
You clearly introduce the topic and say that you will discuss both views and give your opinion.
task response
You give your opinion clearly in the last body paragraph and in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are easy to follow, and the order is mostly clear.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • right to access
  • essential resources
  • digital economy
  • social equity
  • government responsibility
  • privately funded infrastructure
  • market dynamics
  • personal responsibility
  • fundamental right
  • user fees
  • innovation
  • economic growth
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