Some people believe that you should strictly control your children’s behaviour, while some others believe children should be free to choose their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the modern world, it is undeniable that parenting styles play a crucial role in shaping
children
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’s
behaviour
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and personality.
While
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some people believe that parents should strictly
control
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their
children
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’s
behaviour
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, others argue that
children
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should be given the
freedom
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to choose how they behave. In
this
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essay, an attempt will be made to examine both perspectives before presenting my own opinion. On the one hand, those who support strict
control
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argue that firm rules and discipline are essential for a child’s proper development.
Children
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, especially at a young age, often lack the ability to fully understand the consequences of their actions.
Therefore
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, parental supervision helps prevent harmful
behaviour
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and
instills
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instils
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a sense of responsibility. To illustrate, strict rules regarding homework, bedtime, or appropriate social conduct can encourage good habits and self-discipline.
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, clear boundaries provide
children
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with structure and stability, allowing them to grow up feeling secure and guided. From
this
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point of view, strict
control
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prepares
children
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to respect authority and function effectively within society.
On the other hand
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, others believe that
children
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should have the
freedom
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to choose their own
behaviour
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in order to develop independence and confidence. Allowing
children
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to make decisions enables them to learn from their mistakes and develop problem-solving skills.
For example
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, when
children
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are free to manage their own time or choose their hobbies, they often become more self-reliant and motivated. Excessive
control
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,
by contrast
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, may limit creativity and lead to resentment or rebellious
behaviour
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during adolescence. Supporters of
this
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view argue that
freedom
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helps
children
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build emotional maturity and a strong sense of identity. To recapitulate, it is evident that strict
control
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can provide discipline and security,
while
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freedom
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encourages independence and personal growth. Having considered both sides thoroughly, I have personally come to believe that a balanced approach is the most effective. Parents should set clear rules
while
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gradually allowing
children
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more
freedom
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as they mature, ensuring healthy development both emotionally and socially.

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improvement
Your essay keeps a clear view and talks about both sides. Make the main idea in the first paragraph even clearer by stating your thesis in a simple sentence that shows you agree with a mix of views.
improvement
Link each paragraph to the last one. Use small links like 'also' or 'next' to move from one idea to the next.
improvement
In the intro, avoid phrases that sound too long. A short line like 'This essay looks at two sides and then gives my view.' is enough.
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Give one more clear example in each side. Small, real life or school facts can help the point stand out.
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In the ending, restate your view in a direct way and a brief final thought.
strength
Clear view throughout the essay and a balanced talk.
strength
Good use of sign posts like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
strength
There is a matching link from each idea to the next.
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