Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?
An argument has arisen between two views, the first group says that high school
students
should work in free community service
, while
the second one objects to that. In this
report, I will go through both sides of this
conflict, and then
allow me to share my position.
To begin
with, working in community service
is entertaining, interesting, educational, helpful, and beneficial. It will help learners to improve important skills. For further
explanation, many students
acknowledge that after working in various facilities, they become aware of important skills. In addition
, many companies say that they look for a variety of skills such
as communication, problem-solving, leadership, and unity which are hard to have if the person do
not have any previous experience. Change the verb form
does
Besides
that, it is joyful and useful at the same time. Many students
admit that they felt excited, cheerful, and happy when they worked in society
Replace the word
social
service
, especially when they worked with different ages and discovered how each generation think
in a completely different way.
Even though the points mentioned above are influencing, there are reverse points that hold equal influence. Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
Firstly
, it will waste their time. For further
explanation, high school students
have a variety of exams and each one of them require
preparing and studying; Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
as a consequence
, they do not have time to work in their society. Secondly
, they do not have the basic knowledge to work. For example
, many professions such
as teaching younger children, taking care of elderly
, and working for a charity are not extremely easy, so it is essential to know how to deal with people and how to solve sudden issues. Correct article usage
the elderly
However
, high school students
do not have such
knowledge.
In conclusion, although
working in community service
is time-consuming, hard, and boring, it has many merits. As a result
, I completely agree with the first group.Submitted by haneenalnetaif on
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task achievement
You presented a balanced view, covering both sides of the argument effectively. However, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt by stating your view more decisively earlier in your response.
task achievement
Try to expand on your examples with more specific details. This will help in making your arguments more persuasive and your response more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction sets up the essay topic well, consider adding a stronger thesis statement that clearly outlines your view. This will help readers understand your position from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Transition words are used effectively to connect ideas, but varying your sentence structures could enhance readability and flow.
general advice
To improve your score further, work on elaborating on key points with more detailed arguments and examples. This will help in achieving a more complete and thorough discussion of the topic.
task achievement
You've successfully covered both viewpoints on the issue, providing a balanced discussion.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your essay's main points and clearly states your position.
general positive
Good use of vocabulary to express ideas. This enriches the content and engages the reader.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of transition words to create a logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.