Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #children

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An argument has arisen between two views, the first group says that high school

students

Use synonyms

should work in free community

service

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

the second one objects to that. In

this

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report, I will go through both sides of

this

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conflict, and

then

Linking Words

allow me to share my position.

To begin

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with, working in community

service

Use synonyms

is entertaining, interesting, educational, helpful, and beneficial. It will help learners to improve important skills. For

further

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explanation, many

students

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acknowledge that after working in various facilities, they become aware of important skills.

In addition

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, many companies say that they look for a variety of skills

such

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as communication, problem-solving, leadership, and unity which are hard to have if the person

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not have any previous experience.

Besides

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that, it is joyful and useful at the same time. Many

students

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admit that they felt excited, cheerful, and happy when they worked in

society

Replace the word

social

show examples

service

Use synonyms

, especially when they worked with different ages and discovered how each generation

think

Correct subject-verb agreement

thinks

show examples

in a completely different way. Even though the points mentioned above are influencing, there are reverse points that hold equal influence.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it will waste their time. For

further

Linking Words

explanation, high school

students

Use synonyms

have a variety of exams and each one of them

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

preparing and studying;

as a consequence

Linking Words

, they do not have time to work in their society.

Secondly

Linking Words

, they do not have the basic knowledge to work.

For example

Linking Words

, many professions

such

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as teaching younger children, taking care of

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

, and working for a charity are not extremely easy, so it is essential to know how to deal with people and how to solve sudden issues.

However

Linking Words

, high school

students

Use synonyms

do not have

such

Linking Words

knowledge. In conclusion,

although

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working in community

service

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is time-consuming, hard, and boring, it has many merits.

As a result

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, I completely agree with the first group.

Submitted by haneenalnetaif on Sat May 11 2024

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task achievement

You presented a balanced view, covering both sides of the argument effectively. However, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt by stating your view more decisively earlier in your response.

task achievement

Try to expand on your examples with more specific details. This will help in making your arguments more persuasive and your response more comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

While your introduction sets up the essay topic well, consider adding a stronger thesis statement that clearly outlines your view. This will help readers understand your position from the beginning.

coherence cohesion

Transition words are used effectively to connect ideas, but varying your sentence structures could enhance readability and flow.

general advice

To improve your score further, work on elaborating on key points with more detailed arguments and examples. This will help in achieving a more complete and thorough discussion of the topic.

task achievement

You've successfully covered both viewpoints on the issue, providing a balanced discussion.

task achievement

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your essay's main points and clearly states your position.

general positive

Good use of vocabulary to express ideas. This enriches the content and engages the reader.

coherence cohesion

Effective use of transition words to create a logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

unpaid
compulsory
high school programmes
charity
improving the neighbourhood
teaching younger children
valuable learning experiences
communication
teamwork
problem-solving
compassion
empathy
connect
positive impact
mandatory
personal development
social development
interested
motivated
volunteer

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. many others prefer to work for a small company first. compare and contrast their choices and express your opinion

Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person's nature. Discuss both ideas and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? What can be done about this lack of sleep?