Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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An argument has arisen between two views, the first group says that high school
students
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should work in free community
service
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,
while
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the second one objects to that. In
this
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report, I will go through both sides of
this
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conflict, and
then
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allow me to share my position.
To begin
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with, working in community
service
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is entertaining, interesting, educational, helpful, and beneficial. It will help learners to improve important skills. For
further
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explanation, many
students
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acknowledge that after working in various facilities, they become aware of important skills.
In addition
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, many companies say that they look for a variety of skills
such
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as communication, problem-solving, leadership, and unity which are hard to have if the person
do
Change the verb form
does
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not have any previous experience.
Besides
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that, it is joyful and useful at the same time. Many
students
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admit that they felt excited, cheerful, and happy when they worked in
society
Replace the word
social
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service
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, especially when they worked with different ages and discovered how each generation
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
in a completely different way. Even though the points mentioned above are influencing, there are reverse points that hold equal influence.
Firstly
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, it will waste their time. For
further
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explanation, high school
students
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have a variety of exams and each one of them
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
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preparing and studying;
as a consequence
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, they do not have time to work in their society.
Secondly
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, they do not have the basic knowledge to work.
For example
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, many professions
such
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as teaching younger children, taking care of
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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, and working for a charity are not extremely easy, so it is essential to know how to deal with people and how to solve sudden issues.
However
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, high school
students
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do not have
such
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knowledge. In conclusion,
although
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working in community
service
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is time-consuming, hard, and boring, it has many merits.
As a result
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, I completely agree with the first group.
Submitted by haneenalnetaif on

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task achievement
You presented a balanced view, covering both sides of the argument effectively. However, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt by stating your view more decisively earlier in your response.
task achievement
Try to expand on your examples with more specific details. This will help in making your arguments more persuasive and your response more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction sets up the essay topic well, consider adding a stronger thesis statement that clearly outlines your view. This will help readers understand your position from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Transition words are used effectively to connect ideas, but varying your sentence structures could enhance readability and flow.
general advice
To improve your score further, work on elaborating on key points with more detailed arguments and examples. This will help in achieving a more complete and thorough discussion of the topic.
task achievement
You've successfully covered both viewpoints on the issue, providing a balanced discussion.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your essay's main points and clearly states your position.
general positive
Good use of vocabulary to express ideas. This enriches the content and engages the reader.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of transition words to create a logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unpaid
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching younger children
  • valuable learning experiences
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • problem-solving
  • compassion
  • empathy
  • connect
  • positive impact
  • mandatory
  • personal development
  • social development
  • interested
  • motivated
  • volunteer
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