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Writing Samples
Band 7

In the past lectures were the traditional method of teaching large numbers of students. Nowadays new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach in teaching?

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In ancient times, teachers used to teach a majority of the scholars in classrooms with face-to-face methods. In
this
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 modern era, most of the teachers are using digital technologies to teach their sophomores.
However
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, using new devices for teaching their trainees is not as effective as compared to physical attendance in the classrooms.
This
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 essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of traditional and using up-to-date gadgets. On the one hand, in the olden times, for undergraduates, it was compulsory to all they must be present in
classes
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,
whereas
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 they could ask any question from the teacher during the lecture period. Another reason is that they can discuss questions and answers with their peers and do group discussions.
While
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 in the classrooms, they concentrate 100% on the lecture.
For example
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, in India, most of the graduates
study
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 in old-style methods, pupil lives in Guru Kula and learn
time
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 management and learning techniques.
As a result
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, it is evident these teenagers have more concentration powers to
study
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 long hours and give better results.
On the other hand
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, the trend of using new technology is increasing day by day
due to
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 affordability. The primary reason is that people can attend
classes
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 anywhere in the world with these smart devices. Nowadays, graduates are attending
classes
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 via these desktops and they are able to store huge data in their hard disk drives
as well as
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 it is easier to access at any
time
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. Another factor is that
this
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 equipment saves lots of
time
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,
such
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 as travel
time
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 and usage of transport; it saves environment and sound pollution.
Furthermore
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, teenagers who live in remote areas , where advanced
study
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 options are not available,
then
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 only the latest laptops and mobile phones help them to access Zoom meetings, where they send and receive data over the Internet.
Such
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 as people save
time
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 and utilize that free
time
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 for other tasks. In conclusion, it cannot be undeniable latest gadgets always save
time
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 but we lose our culture and physical
classes
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, where we meet our classmates to get ideas about
study
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 and career advice.
Further
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, it is predicted that both ways of
study
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 are going to continue in the future as well.

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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a clearer and more concise introduction. While you have introduced the topic, the intro feels a bit lengthy and slightly repetitive. Try to make the introduction more direct and to the point.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Some of your paragraphs attempt to cover multiple points, which can lead to confusion. For example, in the second paragraph, the discussion about concentration and group discussions would be clearer if split into distinct points.
task achievement
Ensure your conclusion summarizes the key points without introducing new information. Your conclusion does a good job of summarizing, but the prediction could be stated more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Increase the use of linking phrases (e.g., furthermore, however, on the other hand) to improve the flow of your essay. This will help to connect your ideas more smoothly and create a more cohesive argument.
task achievement
The essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of traditional and modern teaching methods, addressing the task appropriately.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, such as the use of traditional methods in India and the benefits of technology for remote learning, which help to illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, with separate paragraphs discussing different aspects of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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