IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the past lectures were the traditional method of teaching large numbers of students. Nowadays new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach in teaching?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In ancient times, teachers used to teach a majority of the scholars in classrooms with face-to-face methods. In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, most of the teachers are using digital technologies to teach their sophomores.
However
Linking Words
, using new devices for teaching their trainees is not as effective as compared to physical attendance in the classrooms.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of traditional and using up-to-date gadgets. On the one hand, in the olden times, for undergraduates, it was compulsory to all they must be present in
classes
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 they could ask any question from the teacher during the lecture period. Another reason is that they can discuss questions and answers with their peers and do group discussions.
While
Linking Words
 in the classrooms, they concentrate 100% on the lecture.
For example
Linking Words
, in India, most of the graduates
study
Use synonyms
 in old-style methods, pupil lives in Guru Kula and learn
time
Use synonyms
 management and learning techniques.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is evident these teenagers have more concentration powers to
study
Use synonyms
 long hours and give better results.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the trend of using new technology is increasing day by day
due to
Linking Words
 affordability. The primary reason is that people can attend
classes
Use synonyms
 anywhere in the world with these smart devices. Nowadays, graduates are attending
classes
Use synonyms
 via these desktops and they are able to store huge data in their hard disk drives
as well as
Linking Words
 it is easier to access at any
time
Use synonyms
. Another factor is that
this
Linking Words
 equipment saves lots of
time
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as travel
time
Use synonyms
 and usage of transport; it saves environment and sound pollution.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, teenagers who live in remote areas , where advanced
study
Use synonyms
 options are not available,
then
Linking Words
 only the latest laptops and mobile phones help them to access Zoom meetings, where they send and receive data over the Internet.
Such
Linking Words
 as people save
time
Use synonyms
 and utilize that free
time
Use synonyms
 for other tasks. In conclusion, it cannot be undeniable latest gadgets always save
time
Use synonyms
 but we lose our culture and physical
classes
Use synonyms
, where we meet our classmates to get ideas about
study
Use synonyms
 and career advice.
Further
Linking Words
, it is predicted that both ways of
study
Use synonyms
 are going to continue in the future as well.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What works well

3
task achievement

The essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of traditional and modern teaching methods, addressing the task appropriately.

task achievement

You have provided relevant examples, such as the use of traditional methods in India and the benefits of technology for remote learning, which help to illustrate your points effectively.

coherence cohesion

The overall structure of the essay is logical, with separate paragraphs discussing different aspects of the topic.

Improvement Suggestions

4
task achievement

Your essay would benefit from a clearer and more concise introduction. While you have introduced the topic, the intro feels a bit lengthy and slightly repetitive. Try to make the introduction more direct and to the point.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Some of your paragraphs attempt to cover multiple points, which can lead to confusion. For example, in the second paragraph, the discussion about concentration and group discussions would be clearer if split into distinct points.

task achievement

Ensure your conclusion summarizes the key points without introducing new information. Your conclusion does a good job of summarizing, but the prediction could be stated more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Increase the use of linking phrases (e.g., furthermore, however, on the other hand) to improve the flow of your essay. This will help to connect your ideas more smoothly and create a more cohesive argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • interactive
  • personalized learning
  • collaboration
  • cost-effectiveness
  • engagement
  • digital resources
  • virtual classrooms
  • educational technology
  • learning styles
  • information overload
  • distraction
  • screen fatigue
  • inequality in access
  • teacher-student relationship
What to do next:
Look at other essays: