IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people want government to spend money on searching for life on other planets. However, others think it is a waste of public money when the earth has so many problems. Discuss these two views and give your own opinion.

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The standpoint of whether the government ought to invest funds in searching for
life
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 on other planets has long been controversial. opponents do not believe that
this
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investment
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 is necessary as the earth is still confronted with numerous issues. I am inclined to the view that both viewpoints are partly rational and it is the government’s obligation to ascertain whether they have the motivation to do so.
firstly
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, from the perspective of the economy, searching for
life
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 in the universe will facilitate the advancement of related technologies. Some technologies may be equipped with the potential to be commercialized in the future.
For example
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, in the context of the Cold War, two superpowers all spent considerable commitments in space exploration and part of these endeavours indirectly reshaped people's daily lives,
such
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 as progress in civil aviation and artificial satellites.
This
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 largely affects contemporary transportation and communication. without investing in
life
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 searching in the universe, the daily
life
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 of the public may not be as convenient as today.
Hence
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,
this
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investment
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 has certainly shown its value.
secondly
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, on the aspect of the government budget, it is impractical to implement the
project
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 assuming that there is insufficient financial capability for governments. there is no doubt that the majority of countries are not as wealthy as developed countries, which means blindly
following
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this
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project
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 may generate massive opportunity costs for a country.
For instance
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, the
investment
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 in national infrastructures, social welfare and educational opportunities might be occupied by
this
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project
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. searching for
life
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 on other planets will render a remarkable shortage financially.
this
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 implies government’s finances are misused to a certain extent, which
further
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 triggers a disadvantageous influence on all stakeholders. in conclusion, the government is accountable for assessing whether they have incentives and budgets to engage in
this
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investment
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. in consideration of the imbalance that widely exists in economic development, it should not be mandatory for developing countries to embark on
such
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 a costly
project
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task achievement
Ensure you are actively engaging with the task question directly throughout the essay. While your essay provides a balanced view, reiterating the question's key points ensures clarity in addressing what has been asked.
task achievement
Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating both views and your own stance in a concise manner. A clear thesis statement can guide the reader on what to expect in the essay.
coherence & cohesion
Utilize a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and clearly, enhancing the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence & cohesion
Pay attention to the organization of paragraphs, ensuring each has a clear main idea supported by specific examples or explanations. This will improve the logical structure of your argument.
coherence & cohesion
Remember to use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more accurately and engagingly. This will also help in improving the cohesion within and across paragraphs.
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