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Writing Samples /
Band 8

You need to take some time off of work to go on holiday. Write a letter to your direct manager

#time #work #holiday #manager
Dear Mr. John, I hope
this
 letter finds you in good health. I’m writing to request a day off since I am planning to go on a trip to the Tobermory
this
 summer with my friends. As you know, we wanted to go there
last
 year as well, but we couldn’t find the right accommodation.
Therefore
,
this
 year we started planning for it well in advance, and I already found many affordable and beautiful hotels to stay. As you are aware Tobermory is a very popular tourist place in the summer and finding accommodation is very difficult unless we start finding it in advance. The good news is we already found the exact place we are looking for, and we are planning to go from 21st July to 23rd July. Since it is a weekend on the 22nd and 23rd, I’ll only require a day off on the 21st. I hope you will approve my request.
Additionally
, I would
also
 like you to know that I am willing to work overtime on the following Monday after my trip to make sure that my pending work gets completed. Thank you so much for your understanding. Yours sincerely, Aayush
Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on

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task achievement
Try to introduce your letter more formally and directly address your manager's title to maintain a professional tone.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea or purpose, which you did well, but it could be improved by separating the reason for your holiday and the arrangements you've made into distinct sections.
coherence and cohesion
Your closing could be enhanced by including a more direct request for approval or response, ensuring the intention of the letter is clearly communicated to the recipient.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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