In many cities, young people prefer shopping as a form of leisure activity. Why do you think this happens? Is it a positive or negative development.

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Shopping has been the most preferred pastime activity among youngsters in many cities, Majority of young individuals use these as their means of relaxation these days.In my opinion, the disadvantage of

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

trend exceeds the benefits it poses as it leads to loss of money and waste of time.

This

Linking Words

occurs

as a result

Linking Words

of social media influence, the

quist

Correct your spelling

quest

show examples

to keep up

Change preposition

with

show examples

the latest fashion trend, peer pressure and social status.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the rate at which young

people

Use synonyms

buy

cloths

Correct your spelling

clothes

show examples

and accessories nowadays has been on the rise as they want to keep up the fashion trend. Frivolous spending by

people

Use synonyms

on material items

such

Linking Words

smart phones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

, costumes and dresses

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to loss of money

financial

Correct word choice

and financial

show examples

burden.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

by celebrities in movies and on television

causes

Wrong verb form

cause

show examples

awarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

of new items on the market and

hence

Linking Words

, the rush to

ourchase

Correct your spelling

purchase

them to change

the

Change the word

their

show examples

wardrobe.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, peer pressure and social status

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

another factor

Fix the agreement mistake

other factors

show examples

for frequent shopping among young individuals. The need to keep up with with peers and maintain a certain social status

drive

Correct subject-verb agreement

drives

show examples

youngsters towards impulse shopping.

In addition

Linking Words

, a lot of cities do not have recreational centers for leisure activity

such

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as parks, clubs etc. which will help the youth to

loose

Replace the word

lose

show examples

stress after a long day at work.

Therefore

Linking Words

, most

people

Use synonyms

will prefer going on shopping trips with friends as

means

Correct article usage

a means

show examples

of spending their free time. To add to, technological advancement has brought about the availability of items on the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

This

Linking Words

makes it easy to buy goods online without going to the shop, Shein is a typical example. In a nutshell, shopping by young

people

Use synonyms

in their spare time is fun but leads to financial loss and

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

peer pressure as they

are influence

Change the verb form

are influenced

show examples

to get those stuff because others have them.

This

Linking Words

will reduce when recreational

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

are built in towns and cities to divert

attention

Add an article

the attention

show examples

of youngsters to healthy activities

such

Linking Words

as cycling, walking or jogging.

dedeWed Mar 27 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

It's important to clearly structure your paragraphs with a topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a conclusion sentence. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is directly supported by examples or explanations.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion should more clearly state your main argument or viewpoint. Ensure that your thesis statement and summary are evident and clearly relate to the body of your essay.

Task Achievement

Strive for a balanced discussion that addresses both parts of the question evenly. Spend equal time discussing why young people prefer shopping as a leisure activity and whether this trend is positive or negative, providing examples for both.

Task Achievement

To provide a more comprehensive response, incorporate a wider range of examples and explanations that directly support your points. Make sure every argument or statement is backed by a relevant and specific example.

General

Consider revising your essay for grammar, punctuation, and word choice to ensure clarity and coherence in your arguments. Clear and accurate expression will enhance the overall effectiveness of your essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

disposable income
leisure activity
retail therapy
local economies
fashion trends
peer pressure
social status
environmental impact
consumption
waste
materialistic
cultural activities
prominent
neglect
therapeutic
social media influence
boost
desire

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In many cities, young people prefer shopping as a form of leisure activity. Why do you think this happens? Is it a positive or negative development.

t is argued that the parents of children who break the rules should be punished in some ways as parents are responsible for the children's actions. To what extent do you agree or desagree?

Some people think there are not many things individuals can do to resolve environmental problems, while the others believe that in order to tackle environmental problems individuals also need to take action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Older Building is preserving worth more than other one

today more and more teenagers make important decisions, such as study field and career choices, themselves. What problems does it cause? How to solve them?