Online shopping is becoming more popular. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of work required?

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There is a controversial perspective heating

debate

Correct article usage

the debate

show examples

over online shopping.

This

Linking Words

reality has both pros and cons.

However

Linking Words

, I would contend that its

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

can not overshadow its

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

. Without a shadow of a doubt, purchasing products online is able to bring a negative effect on the environment. The explanation for

this

Linking Words

could be that online platforms offer

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

customers a wealth of discounts

together with

Linking Words

promotions on fashion so buyers consume more fast fashion than sustainable one because it is cheaper, which leads to the amount of waste from

this

Linking Words

industry increases.

For instance

Linking Words

, the Tiktok platform always has discounts from 20 to 50

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

when customers make purchases, which attracts thousands of buyers.

Thus

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

online shopping is convenient and less time-consuming, it still has disadvantages.

While

Linking Words

the impact of online shopping on the environment is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if that of

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

is ignored.

This

Linking Words

might be because buying items online results in some social issues.

For example

Linking Words

, online shopping becoming customary will cause some companies to go bankrupt, which will lead to thousands of people being unemployed.

Hence

Linking Words

, online shopping can

bring

Verb problem

have

show examples

tremendous

Correct article usage

a tremendous

show examples

influence on social issues. In conclusion, online shopping may do more harm than good because it results in not only pollution but

also

Linking Words

unemployment.

hominhtrang995Wed Mar 27 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Consider a clear and structured paragraphing system wherein each paragraph deals with a specific aspect of the topic. Having clear topic sentences that indicate what each paragraph will discuss can enhance coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

With coherence, linking words and phrases should be used more effectively to connect ideas both within and between paragraphs. Try to make more explicit connections between the points discussed and the overall argument of the essay.

Task achievement

Make sure to fully address the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument or all parts of the question asked in a balanced way. Expanding your discussion to cover all aspects of the question can improve your task achievement score.

Task achievement

In addressing the task, use a range of specific examples and detailed explanations to support your arguments. While some examples were provided, further detail and expansion on these can help to clarify and strengthen your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

213 words

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Online shopping is becoming more popular. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of work required?

Your opinion

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents are better caregivers for their young children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the best of improve road safety is to icrease the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Tourism has become one of the leading sources of revenue in many countries. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

in many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?