Online shopping is becoming more popular. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of work required?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a controversial perspective heating
debate
Correct article usage
the debate
show examples
over online shopping.
This
reality has both pros and cons.
However
, I would contend that its
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
can not overshadow its
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
. Without a shadow of a doubt, purchasing products online is able to bring a negative effect on the environment. The explanation for
this
could be that online platforms offer
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
customers a wealth of discounts
together with
promotions on fashion so buyers consume more fast fashion than sustainable one because it is cheaper, which leads to the amount of waste from
this
industry increases.
For instance
, the Tiktok platform always has discounts from 20 to 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
when customers make purchases, which attracts thousands of buyers.
Thus
,
although
online shopping is convenient and less time-consuming, it still has disadvantages.
While
the impact of online shopping on the environment is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if that of
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
is ignored.
This
might be because buying items online results in some social issues.
For example
, online shopping becoming customary will cause some companies to go bankrupt, which will lead to thousands of people being unemployed.
Hence
, online shopping can
bring
Verb problem
have
show examples
tremendous
Correct article usage
a tremendous
show examples
influence on social issues. In conclusion, online shopping may do more harm than good because it results in not only pollution but
also
unemployment.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Consider a clear and structured paragraphing system wherein each paragraph deals with a specific aspect of the topic. Having clear topic sentences that indicate what each paragraph will discuss can enhance coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
With coherence, linking words and phrases should be used more effectively to connect ideas both within and between paragraphs. Try to make more explicit connections between the points discussed and the overall argument of the essay.
Task achievement
Make sure to fully address the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument or all parts of the question asked in a balanced way. Expanding your discussion to cover all aspects of the question can improve your task achievement score.
Task achievement
In addressing the task, use a range of specific examples and detailed explanations to support your arguments. While some examples were provided, further detail and expansion on these can help to clarify and strengthen your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: