Online shopping is becoming more popular. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of work required?

#trend #environment #kinds #work

There is a controversial perspective heating

debate

Correct article usage

the debate

show examples

over online shopping.

This

reality has both pros and cons.

However

, I would contend that its

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

can not overshadow its

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

. Without a shadow of a doubt, purchasing products online is able to bring a negative effect on the environment. The explanation for

this

could be that online platforms offer

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

customers a wealth of discounts

together with

promotions on fashion so buyers consume more fast fashion than sustainable one because it is cheaper, which leads to the amount of waste from

this

industry increases.

For instance

, the Tiktok platform always has discounts from 20 to 50

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

when customers make purchases, which attracts thousands of buyers.

Thus

although

online shopping is convenient and less time-consuming, it still has disadvantages.

While

the impact of online shopping on the environment is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if that of

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

is ignored.

This

might be because buying items online results in some social issues.

For example

, online shopping becoming customary will cause some companies to go bankrupt, which will lead to thousands of people being unemployed.

Hence

, online shopping can

bring

Verb problem

have

show examples

tremendous

Correct article usage

a tremendous

show examples

influence on social issues. In conclusion, online shopping may do more harm than good because it results in not only pollution but

also

unemployment.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Wed Mar 27 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

With coherence, linking words and phrases should be used more effectively to connect ideas both within and between paragraphs. Try to make more explicit connections between the points discussed and the overall argument of the essay.

Task achievement

Make sure to fully address the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument or all parts of the question asked in a balanced way. Expanding your discussion to cover all aspects of the question can improve your task achievement score.

Task achievement

In addressing the task, use a range of specific examples and detailed explanations to support your arguments. While some examples were provided, further detail and expansion on these can help to clarify and strengthen your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

213 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Online shopping is becoming more popular. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of work required?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The rise of online shopping has transformed the way many people purchase goods. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

The world of work is changing rapidly and people cannot depend on the same job or the same conditions of work for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestions on how people should prepare for work

Write a letter to one of your old teachers asking for a reference. In your letter: say what job you have applied for explain why you want this job suggest what information the teacher should include Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write your own addresses

After graduating from high school, some young people decide to start working right away instead of going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this?

Many university students cannot find a job in their chosen profession. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it?