The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
people
's health
state standard is considered to worsen in the following years. In this
essay, I'm going to provide my opinion on the topic as well as
state the reasons of
Change preposition
for
such
trend
.
Some Correct article usage
a trend
people
believe that current
Correct article usage
the current
health
condition of an average person meets all the necessary body health
requirements and it will only become lower in the future. I fully agree with the statement due to
following
reasons. First of all, the rapid increase in technological revolutions provides modern society will various tools for Correct article usage
the following
comfortable
way of living. Add an article
a comfortable
For instance
, each year the number of people
driving cars grows dramatically, that
is why Correct pronoun usage
which
people
tend to walk less. Secondly
, nowadays more and more people
go to office
and have Add an article
the office
an office
sedetary
work. It is considered to cause different Correct your spelling
sedentary
health
issues like obesity, poor eyesights
, spine bends and so on. Even though, those who do not go to Fix the agreement mistake
eyesight
Correct article usage
the office
office
and are allowed to work remotely, get used to Correct article usage
the office
Wrong verb form
spending
spend
the whole day at home. In the end, in my opinion, there is a common unhealthy pattern among young Wrong verb form
spending
people
to not go outdoors and rely on brand new
appliances in order to make life more comfortable and less active.
Other Add a hyphen
brand-new
people
claim that young people
are more aware than ever of possible health
diseases, bad
habits consequences Correct word choice
and bad
due to
available information on the Internet. Unfortunately, a vast majority of children and young people
are addicted to social media and it is rather unhealthy to spend a lot of time online. Another negative feature of the Internet is that now people
can order food online, which eventually results in lack
of movement. I think all aforementioned habits that appeared recently would lead to a lower Correct article usage
a lack
health
standard.
To sum up
, average
Correct article usage
the average
health
standard
will decrease because of new technologies, food and Fix the agreement mistake
standards
Correct article usage
an unactive
unactive
lifestyle. Correct your spelling
inactive
Thus
, I strongly advise young people
to stay active and take care of themselves since childhood.Submitted by dulskywork on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs that logically flow from one to the next. Use a range of linking phrases to connect ideas seamlessly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce your essay effectively by paraphrasing the question and clearly stating your position. Conclude your essay by summarizing your main points and restating your opinion in a compelling manner.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples and detailed explanations. Strive to use varied sentence structures and precise vocabulary to articulate your ideas more dynamically.
Task Achievement
Further support your arguments with a broader range of examples and more detailed analysis. This includes drawing on more diverse sources and considering additional aspects of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.