The charts show the Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school.

The charts show the Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The three pie charts illustrate the proportion of three types of
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
in Australian
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
in 1980, 1990, and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most common career type was working, which accounted for over two-fifths in all three years,
while
Linking Words
unemployment generated the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
ratio in Australia. Turning to the details,
emplyment
Correct your spelling
employment
consisted of 40% of the portal in 1980 and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
been steadily increasing to 50% and 55% respectively in 1990 and 2000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the percentage
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
enter
Wrong verb form
entered
show examples
higher education started at 50%, but it slumped down to 38% and showed a slight decrease to 37% in 2000.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the least common kind of working was unemployment and showed a moderate
rising
Replace the word
rise
show examples
to 12% in 1990. Afterwards, the figure will again drop to roughly 8%.
Submitted by dlwltn6615 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tertiary education
  • vocational training institutions
  • competitive job market
  • skilled professionals
  • workforce
  • practical work experience
  • employment opportunities
  • gap year
  • volunteer work
  • personal development
  • formal education
  • online courses
  • part-time studies
  • continuous learning
  • unemployment
  • career guidance
  • support services
  • informed decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: