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Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Others believe that students should spend their whole day on academic studies. Discuss both the views and state your opinion?

#people #exercise #part #school #students #studies
Some individuals think that their children need to be interested in sporty activities in their school life,
however
, some of them think the opposite side. They suppose that kids should only be interested in studying. In
this
 article, I will talk about all of these thoughts and
finally
, I will express my own view.
Firstly
, being active is the most important thing for our fitness. As we move, our blood flows faster. And
this
 protects us from diseases. Especially, at an early age, individuals should be careful about their form. Because, how a person learns is how he continues to do it. After all, school teaches us everything. And
also
 we spend a lot of time in
this
 building. If they have to teach us something, it would be about welfare. It means to be active and sporty.To build a fit generation, students need to be interested in volleyball, football, tennis etc.
Also
, their teachers support them. Originally, some parents wanted their children to do sports every single day.
Nevertheless
, some of them oppose all of these ideas, because they are thinking more traditionally, and their minds are not clear as the first part of families. I guess all traditional ideas are not true. Because these are old fashion.
Thus
 far all of us were educated with
this
 traditional thought.
This
 system no longer works. Everyone knows education, books, and careers are quite important
however
, hobbies and sports are
also
 very important. From my perspective, health comes before everything, if you are fit, you can do anything. So
that is
 why, families have to care about their children's bodies. I totally agree with the first concept.
Submitted by ecem.tekben on

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coherence cohesion
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Try to engage directly with alternative viewpoints before stating your conclusion to enrich the discussion.
coherence cohesion
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task achievement
You presented a balanced discussion, considering multiple perspectives before stating your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay, with distinct paragraphs for each main idea, aids in understanding and follows a logical flow.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical exercise
  • Academic studies
  • Mental health
  • Concentration
  • Time management
  • Teamwork
  • Social skills
  • Correlation
  • Curriculum
  • Physical fitness
  • Intellectual development
  • Balanced approach
  • Lifestyle habits
  • Well-being
  • Mandatory
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