IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

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Problematic regions relying on global assistance to address their rising
issues
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 are no longer news.
Although
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 it is debated that only
cross- border
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cross-border
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organizations
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 can help with
such
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 difficulties, I contend
the
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with the
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 opposing viewpoint that improvement may be achieved
via
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in
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 multiple ways. In
this
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 essay, I will fully explain
this
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 perspective and give
two- sided
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two-sided
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 explanations. It is argued that international enterprises can dominantly address
issues
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due to
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 two major reasons. First off, they are indeed powerful
to
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enough to
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 combat severe worldwide
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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.
For example
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, when Coronavirus hit the world in 2021, more than one
western
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Western
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 developed countries have distributed their funding to India and North Korea when they needed help
on
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in
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 building medical infrastructures.
Secondly
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, some difficult and long-lasting problems might be better solved by international
organizations
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.
This
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 means when local authorities find themselves helpless
on
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in
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 tackling obstacles
such
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 as poverty, hunger, and climate change, the United Nations and their associated foundations are probably the only capable party to support.
However
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, cross-nation assistance may not be in
such
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 a dominant role under two main circumstances.
To begin
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 with, local
organizations
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 are often stronger at small-sized problems. Take illiteracy as an example, local literacy and numeracy outreach programs are widely established to help families who cannot afford the education of their children.
In addition
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, individuals who dwell in the area might contribute to certain
issues
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 better than those who live internationally.
For instance
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, plastic contamination in a nearby beach could be quickly improved by local volunteers
though
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through
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 garbage picking, which is more direct and efficient than seeking help from other countries. In conclusion, whether cross-country support is essential clearly does not have a straightforward answer. In spite of the fact that global companies and
organizations
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 are more powerful on widespread (emerging)diseases and universal
issues
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, local associations and volunteers may act more efficiently on problems within the community.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic with a nice flow from one idea to the next. To elevate your writing even further, consider varying your sentence structures to include more complex forms. This not only makes your essay more interesting to read but can also help to convey your thoughts more precisely.
task achievement
While your essay does a good job of presenting both sides of the argument, make sure to directly address the prompt by stating to what extent you agree or disagree. This can be made clearer in your introduction and reiterated in your conclusion to ensure a stronger positioning throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
You provided a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which enriches your essay and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding.
task achievement
The use of specific examples like the global reaction to the Coronavirus pandemic helps ground your arguments in reality, making them more persuasive and relatable.
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