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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries parents worry about the amount of time their children spend watching TV and using the internet. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #parents #amount #time #children #tv #internet
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Nowadays I mentioned that children spend their whole days sitting in front of
TV
Correct article usage
the TV
show examples
 or computers more frequently. When I was smaller it wasn’t
such
 a popular thing,
kids
 preferred going out of their houses more than their phones, which was good for them, because they were more active, socialized and I guess happier.
To begin
 with, for me, the thing that affected the new generation the most was the improvement of technology, every day in the 21st century we can see an increase in the popularity of new gadgets,
for instance
: new technological phones, laptops, etc. they have an AI system which can replace friends, family,
this
 robot can help you with everything, it can talk to you, do your homework, give you an advice.
Also
, one more thing that I want to mention, sometimes I think that
kids
 are trying to run out of reality, every person can see how cruel
this
world
 is, and not only outside their houses. Some
kids
 are dealing with an abusive family, they can’t even trust their parents but who they can trust in
this
world
? Games are played by lots of teenagers and
kids
 to have time to leave
this
world
 for a moment and feel that someone loves them, that the
world
 is not that boring, and that they actually mean something. Listen to your
kids
 and analyze if their mental health is okay, it could be great just to talk to them. If everything with them is okay and you see that it is just an addiction, from my personal point, you may try to control them somehow in
this
 type of hobby. Everyone is spending their time on phones but they
also
 must know the measures, so do some measures for your child which do not make you pick up their phone but give them a limit and real life with their parents, relatives, and closest friends.
To sum up
, of course in our modern
world
 there could be a lot of problems like
this
, but we always have a way to change something. I really wish that one day people will put away their gadgets and will fully appreciate their life and
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 around them.
Submitted by wegeeetz on

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Language
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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