In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?
Citizens find themselves in danger
although
the number of aggravated faults are
going down in many nations because we can hear more about Change the verb form
is
the
Correct article usage
apply
crimes
from social media
more
than ever before and we started to see new types of Correct quantifier usage
apply
crimes
which cannot be prosecuted under current
law systems of the countries. So as to solve Correct article usage
the current
this
problem, I think investigation
process should be improved and governments should make new laws which Correct article usage
the investigation
binds
the offenders of Change the verb form
bind
the
untypical Correct article usage
apply
crimes
.
One of the reasons behind the feeling
of those people emerges from the information overload caused by Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
media
platforms. We are now able to hear certain wrong doings
women and men face Correct your spelling
wrongdoings
from
simply scrolling down on applications we have on our Change preposition
by
phone
and we usually focus on the act itself, rather than focusing on the Fix the agreement mistake
phones
result
of it, such
as the inprisonment
or trial phase of the offender. Correct your spelling
imprisonment
This
makes us think that someone is commiting
a crime and walking away with it. The other reason Correct your spelling
committing
of
the worry of the citizens is new Change preposition
for
crimes
that are not able to be subject to a criminal investigation because of the outdated law system in that country. Take data
protection area, Correct article usage
the data
for example
, before the last
10 years, nations did not have efficient and applicable law norms back then
and a
Change preposition
as a
result
of this
, companies have
sold our information to other entities and identity Unnecessary verb
apply
thiefs
Correct your spelling
thieves
have stolen
our personal data and made money from them.
In order to make Wrong verb form
stole
ones
Fix the agreement mistake
one
relieve
, people themselves can try not to impulsively react to the information they Wrong verb form
relieved
saw
on certain news platforms and search Wrong verb form
see
the
consequences and final Change preposition
for the
result
of the crime because most of the crimes
are being prosecuted and punished especially if they are known enough to heard
by a person outside. To be able to punish the criminals who have made certain Change the verb
hear
wrong doings
, governments ought to have specific articles in their codes for those actions and those actions need to be searched and stated carefully. Correct your spelling
wrongdoings
For instance
, a comitee
that identifies the new types of faults in Correct your spelling
committee
the
society can be established and with the results of their survey, governments can adopt new norms in their criminal codes to punish the offenders and Correct article usage
apply
as a
result
, individuals can feel more relaxed about the unpunished ones in the environment they live in.
To conclude
, even though the nations have less severe harrastment
levels today, individuals still feel in danger because of the lack of data they consume from Correct your spelling
harassment
the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
about certain offends
and the unnamed offences in the country. I believe with the implementation of laws that Replace the word
offenders
covers
those acts and the effort of individuals Correct subject-verb agreement
cover
about knowing
more about the Change preposition
to know
story
they learn from Fix the agreement mistake
stories
media
, citizens can feel more relaxed about the threat level in the area they live in.Submitted by :DDDDD on
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Structure
Great job in structuring your essay clearly with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization allows the reader to follow your argument with ease.
Paragraph Use
You have effectively used paragraphs to distinguish between different ideas, which is great for readability and coherence.
Sentence Variety
Using more varied sentence structures and transitions could make your essay even more engaging and cohesive.
Vocabulary
To enhance the depth of your essay, you might consider integrating a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic. This will not only demonstrate your language skills but also enrich your argument.
Task Response
You have excellently addressed the task by discussing the reasons for the perceived increase in insecurity despite the decrease in serious crimes, and you've proposed viable solutions. This comprehensive coverage of the topic is commendable.
Logical Structure
Maintained a clear logical structure throughout the essay, enhancing the coherence and cohesion of your argument.
Example Use
Provided relevant examples to support your main points, effectively strengthening your arguments.
Introduction & Conclusion
Successfully delineated and concluded your essay, adhering to the conventional essay format.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.