Some people think hard work and determination lead to success. Others feel that money and personal appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Success
is a multifaceted concept, often debated in terms of what contributes most significantly to achieving it. While
some argue that perseverance and dedication are the keys to success
, others believe that good looks and money play a more vital role. I firmly believe that true success
has no shortcuts and cannot be substituted by appearance or wealth. This
essay will discuss my reasoning in the following passages.
In today's competitive world, many individuals strive to excel in their respective careers by committing wholeheartedly to their work
. They often work
long hours and go above and beyond to gain recognition within their organizations. The hard work
someone puts in rarely goes unnoticed or underestimated. The more effort they invest, the more likely they are to reach their goals in a shorter time. Additionally
, working diligently towards one's goals instills
resilience and a willingness to learn from mistakes. Failures are inevitable in any job, but navigating through them with determination fosters significant growth. Change the spelling
instils
For instance
, Elon Musk, the founder of Tesla and currently one of the world's richest individuals, once shared with Time Magazine that his success
in creating the first electric car stemmed from working 12-hour days without distraction. Musk mentioned that he failed over 99 times before developing the successful Tesla design. These failures taught him valuable lessons, ultimately leading to his breakthrough.
On the contrary
, some argue that good looks and money are crucial for success
. While
these attributes might provide an initial advantage, they are not sufficient for sustained success
. For example
, in the modeling
industry, appearance is crucial. Models become the faces of brands, where looks take precedence over hard Change the spelling
modelling
work
. However
, as models age, their appearance may no longer be a significant asset. Similarly
, in politics, wealth is essential to fund campaigns and gain visibility. While
money can provide a strong start, maintaining a political career requires hard work
and dedication beyond financial resources.
In conclusion, individuals who perform their jobs efficiently and persistently, despite challenges, are more likely to achieve lasting success
compared to those who rely solely on looks and wealth. True success
is a result of continuous effort, resilience, and a commitment to learning from failures.Submitted by u.umayal92 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While your essay does a good job of covering both views and providing a clear personal opinion, adding more specific examples, especially in the argument for the importance of looks and money, would strengthen your position. Try to bring in varied real-life instances to make your argument more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs by using linking words and phrases more frequently, which would contribute to an even stronger logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-written and clearly summarize the main points of your essay, providing a strong frame for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear main points and supportive arguments. Each paragraph transitions logically to the next, maintaining coherence.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples, especially the one about Elon Musk, to support your arguments about hard work and determination leading to success.