Some people think hard work and determination lead to success. Others feel that money and personal appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #work #determination #success #money #appearance

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Success

Use synonyms

is a multifaceted concept, often debated in terms of what contributes most significantly to achieving it.

While

Linking Words

some argue that perseverance and dedication are the keys to

success

Use synonyms

, others believe that good looks and money play a more vital role. I firmly believe that true

success

Use synonyms

has no shortcuts and cannot be substituted by appearance or wealth.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss my reasoning in the following passages. In today's competitive world, many individuals strive to excel in their respective careers by committing wholeheartedly to their

work

Use synonyms

. They often

work

Use synonyms

long hours and go above and beyond to gain recognition within their organizations. The hard

work

Use synonyms

someone puts in rarely goes unnoticed or underestimated. The more effort they invest, the more likely they are to reach their goals in a shorter time.

Additionally

Linking Words

, working diligently towards one's goals

instills

Change the spelling

instils

show examples

resilience and a willingness to learn from mistakes. Failures are inevitable in any job, but navigating through them with determination fosters significant growth.

For instance

Linking Words

, Elon Musk, the founder of Tesla and currently one of the world's richest individuals, once shared with Time Magazine that his

success

Use synonyms

in creating the first electric car stemmed from working 12-hour days without distraction. Musk mentioned that he failed over 99 times before developing the successful Tesla design. These failures taught him valuable lessons, ultimately leading to his breakthrough.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, some argue that good looks and money are crucial for

success

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

these attributes might provide an initial advantage, they are not sufficient for sustained

success

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, in the

modeling

Change the spelling

modelling

show examples

industry, appearance is crucial. Models become the faces of brands, where looks take precedence over hard

work

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, as models age, their appearance may no longer be a significant asset.

Similarly

Linking Words

, in politics, wealth is essential to fund campaigns and gain visibility.

While

Linking Words

money can provide a strong start, maintaining a political career requires hard

work

Use synonyms

and dedication beyond financial resources. In conclusion, individuals who perform their jobs efficiently and persistently, despite challenges, are more likely to achieve lasting

success

Use synonyms

compared to those who rely solely on looks and wealth. True

success

Use synonyms

is a result of continuous effort, resilience, and a commitment to learning from failures.

Submitted by u.umayal92 on Wed May 22 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While your essay does a good job of covering both views and providing a clear personal opinion, adding more specific examples, especially in the argument for the importance of looks and money, would strengthen your position. Try to bring in varied real-life instances to make your argument more comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs by using linking words and phrases more frequently, which would contribute to an even stronger logical flow.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-written and clearly summarize the main points of your essay, providing a strong frame for your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with clear main points and supportive arguments. Each paragraph transitions logically to the next, maintaining coherence.

task achievement

You provide relevant and specific examples, especially the one about Elon Musk, to support your arguments about hard work and determination leading to success.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

364 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.
In this modern days, the usage of computer is undeniably important. Even children use computer to complete their school assignment. It is agreed however, that using computer daily have more negative than positive outcome. It can lead to addiction, as well as poor implication to health.
5
band
Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligent enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?
Online education applies more A.I technologies and computers in the recent years. Artificial intelligent is able to improve learning experiences by the assistance and helping from virtual websites or applications. These developments have many positive impact on the society due to its automated conveniences.
6
band
In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way why is this? do you think it is positive or negative development?
Recently, the company has stressed that its product is the latest in many aspects of its advertisement. It is often agreed by many that ads are one of the best media to introduce products to customers. In my opinion, advertising company should not only improve their campaign strategy instead of elevate the quality of their goods. This essay will address the positive side of the writer’s view.
7.5
band
In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
It is undeniable that the most important factor for a country or an organisation's development is human resources. It is possible to have a few people who earn extremely high salaries because their contributions are valuable and necessary. Some people think that it is good for the country to offer high financial incentives to those people, meanwhile, others disagree with that view and consider that salary limitations should be developed. This essay will elaborate on both views and the reasons why I agree that salaries should not be controlled.
5.5
band
Task2: Nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals orgovernment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In this state-of-the-art epoch, medical science plays an essential role in flora and fauna. One school of thought believes that, in present medical investigation, projects are funded by private firms. In my perspective, every natural and artificial body, as well as the government, should carry funds for it, and my reasons are articulated in the forthcoming paragraphs.

Some people think hard work and determination lead to success. Others feel that money and personal appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligent enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way why is this? do you think it is positive or negative development?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Task2: Nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals orgovernment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.