Some people think hard work and determination lead to success. Others feel that money and personal appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Success

Use synonyms

is a multifaceted concept, often debated in terms of what contributes most significantly to achieving it.

While

Linking Words

some argue that perseverance and dedication are the keys to

success

Use synonyms

, others believe that good looks and money play a more vital role. I firmly believe that true

success

Use synonyms

has no shortcuts and cannot be substituted by appearance or wealth.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss my reasoning in the following passages. In today's competitive world, many individuals strive to excel in their respective careers by committing wholeheartedly to their

work

Use synonyms

. They often

work

Use synonyms

long hours and go above and beyond to gain recognition within their organizations. The hard

work

Use synonyms

someone puts in rarely goes unnoticed or underestimated. The more effort they invest, the more likely they are to reach their goals in a shorter time.

Additionally

Linking Words

, working diligently towards one's goals

instills

Change the spelling

instils

show examples

resilience and a willingness to learn from mistakes. Failures are inevitable in any job, but navigating through them with determination fosters significant growth.

For instance

Linking Words

, Elon Musk, the founder of Tesla and currently one of the world's richest individuals, once shared with Time Magazine that his

success

Use synonyms

in creating the first electric car stemmed from working 12-hour days without distraction. Musk mentioned that he failed over 99 times before developing the successful Tesla design. These failures taught him valuable lessons, ultimately leading to his breakthrough.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, some argue that good looks and money are crucial for

success

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

these attributes might provide an initial advantage, they are not sufficient for sustained

success

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, in the

modeling

Change the spelling

modelling

show examples

industry, appearance is crucial. Models become the faces of brands, where looks take precedence over hard

work

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, as models age, their appearance may no longer be a significant asset.

Similarly

Linking Words

, in politics, wealth is essential to fund campaigns and gain visibility.

While

Linking Words

money can provide a strong start, maintaining a political career requires hard

work

Use synonyms

and dedication beyond financial resources. In conclusion, individuals who perform their jobs efficiently and persistently, despite challenges, are more likely to achieve lasting

success

Use synonyms

compared to those who rely solely on looks and wealth. True

success

Use synonyms

is a result of continuous effort, resilience, and a commitment to learning from failures.

u.umayal92Wed May 22 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While your essay does a good job of covering both views and providing a clear personal opinion, adding more specific examples, especially in the argument for the importance of looks and money, would strengthen your position. Try to bring in varied real-life instances to make your argument more comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs by using linking words and phrases more frequently, which would contribute to an even stronger logical flow.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-written and clearly summarize the main points of your essay, providing a strong frame for your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with clear main points and supportive arguments. Each paragraph transitions logically to the next, maintaining coherence.

task achievement

You provide relevant and specific examples, especially the one about Elon Musk, to support your arguments about hard work and determination leading to success.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

364 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
You paid for a one month English Language course at a college overseas but you cannot attend. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter Introduce yourself and give details of the course. Explain why you are unable to attend the course. Say what you would like to do
My name is Anastassia, I'm from Israel, and I have enrolled in the "English as a Second Language" course at your college, which is scheduled to start on May 1.
7.5
band
Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Today, there are a lot of countries affected by the poor economy. This might be because of plenty of reasons especially, natural calamities, war, pandemics, economic collapse etc. To support those nations many countries developed interests as well. However, financial assistance may not always eradicate famine. Aids like basic amenities like food, healthcare and other requirements can contribute to a better lifestyle. In this essay, we will discuss this.
4.5
band
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is variety approaches for improve workers at work and schools in daily life. It is undeniable that work and school have a essential part of our life. However, there is no absolute agreement on whether competition and cooperation should be effect to workers and students.
7
band
Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?
English is a gateway to the world and no one should be deprived of the opportunities that arise for those with a strong command of the English language. This does not mean that local languages are dispensable, however. They have an important role to play in supporting education, including English language education.
4.5
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Food, clothes and shelter are prima facie requirements for humans to survive and maintain well-being. One school of thought believes that in many nations having ownership of home is crucial rather than renting one for individuals. This essay shall discuss the bright side and it will be articulated in forthcoming paragraphs with logical Conclusion.

Some people think hard work and determination lead to success. Others feel that money and personal appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

You paid for a one month English Language course at a college overseas but you cannot attend. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter Introduce yourself and give details of the course. Explain why you are unable to attend the course. Say what you would like to do

Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?