more and more adults are playing computer games. why is it happening? is it positive or negative trend

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There has been a significant increase in the number of adult gamers in recent times. Mainly
due to
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the technological advancement in the gaming industry. In my opinion, it is a beneficial trend as it opens up new career options and opportunities to earn money. The main reason for the increasing number of
adults
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playing video
games
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or computer
games
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is technological development. Better graphic cards, better processors, and computers with more RAM have led to
games
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being more appealing and realistic.
As a result
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, gaming has become more interesting for
adults
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.
According to
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the study, there is an increase of 30% in adult gamers across the world.
This
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reflects the increasing quality of the
games
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and the increasing interest of adult individuals. I believe
this
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trend is beneficial because gaming has evolved into a lucrative industry, offering various job opportunities. Many
adults
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now earn a living through professional gaming, game development, and content creation on platforms like YouTube and Twitch.
Additionally
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, global esports tournaments offer substantial prize money, attracting skilled players from around the world.
Furthermore
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, the demand for game testers and designers has grown, providing employment in the technology and entertainment sectors. In a time when securing traditional jobs can be challenging, gaming offers an alternative career path. In conclusion, the rise in
adults
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playing video
games
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is primarily driven by technological advancements that have made
games
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more engaging and visually appealing.
This
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is a positive development, as it not only provides entertainment but
also
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opens up diverse financial and career opportunities.

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Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion. However, you could improve your argument by elaborating on the potential negative aspects of adult gaming to provide a more balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but consider improving the transition between paragraphs. This will help reinforce the flow of ideas and enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
Task Achievement
In your examples, while they are relevant, providing a specific statistic or study name about the growing trend of adult gamers could strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the main idea, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your perspective on the trend.
Task Achievement
The idea of gaming as a career is a strong point, and you explained it well in terms of job opportunities.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive
  • stress relief
  • multiplayer games
  • online communities
  • cognitive challenges
  • mental stimulation
  • e-sports
  • socially acceptable
  • prestigious
  • purchasing power
  • sophisticated games
  • escapism
  • accessible
  • advertisements
  • adult demographics
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