Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What do you think is the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, teenagers in many countries have leisure activities for
children
that should make them relax. Because they have to face pressure from education all day; after school young adults
should find an activity that makes them feel relaxed. Everyone has their own ways to make themselves feel relaxed as well as
youth. In my opinion, everything has pros
and cons.
The pros
, of these activities are that they make some children
feel relaxed some of them can make money
from shopping Influencers in TikTok review the items that they buy to make other people interested in the same thing or need the same item and how good and bad of the product. It can make money
for them and also
can share the experience when they use the item accompanying the decision-making people who want to buy the product. However
, it can make the owner see and pay for them to review their product.
On the other hand
, shopping has pros
actually it has cons to come with.Like, some teenagers can’t manage money
to balance in daily life and shopping most of them spend a lot of money
to buy anything that they need without thinking about the next day. Similarly
, some youth are shopping because they are trendy; buy everything in trend at that time even if they don’t like it too much. This
can have a negative effect on both parents and young adults
because parents must earn enough money
to cover expenses and it creates bad habits for children
also
.
To deduce, everything has pros
and cons depending on how young adults
make money
. Even some adults
don't understand this
trend of children
but, open your mind and consult and support them. Having said that some teenagers can make money
and make many chances for themself if they get support from their parents will make many pros
for them.Submitted by np.napatping on
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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score in coherence and cohesion, consider using clear paragraphing to organize your ideas. Each paragraph should cover a single main point, making the essay more reader-friendly. For example, you can create distinct sections for the pros and cons of shopping as a leisure activity.
task achievement
While your essay provides some good examples, try to integrate more specific details or case studies to support your arguments. When discussing influencers on TikTok, for example, you could mention specific trends or individual success stories to enhance your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the main points of the task: reasons why shopping is popular among young adults and its positive and negative aspects. This demonstrates a good understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The essay successfully presents an introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well. This helps in providing a rounded and complete response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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