Some people thing that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

University
education
is
enormous
Change the adjective
enormously
show examples
popular and common
all
Change preposition
in all
show examples
parts of the world.
Therefore
, some
people
believe that studying at
university
is an achievement
way
to accomplish in life.
However
, some argue that
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
is not
chosen
Correct article usage
the chosen
show examples
way
to
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
successful today. In my opinion,
education
at
university
is extremely useful for
people
to create a good lifestyle in their entire life.
To begin
with, why
people
feel that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
studying at
university
is the best
way
to live successfully in the world is that it gives them helpful
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
and
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
which use in their careers.
In other words
, when
individuals
graduate from
university
, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
manage their processes in any situation.
For example
, in 2003, Apply company
obtained
Verb problem
became
show examples
the best company
aware
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in the USA.
This
is because it only hires employees who graduated from
university
. It puts
this
rule that they can solve a problem with themselves.
Consequently
, its workers
leaded
Correct your spelling
led
show examples
to get the amazing prize.
On the other hand
, the main cause of
people
thinking
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
education
university
is not
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
correct
way
to achieve
succeed
Replace the word
success
show examples
is that there are so many alternatives and quick ways for it
such
as special courses and beginning to work early. As a matter of fact
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
German government encourages young citizens to attend occupational schools to improve their practical skills rather than learn theory knowledge at
university
.
Hence
, The German government found in a statistic,
most
Correct pronoun usage
that most
show examples
students who participated
private
Change preposition
in private
show examples
colleges could
achieved
Change the verb form
achieve
show examples
in their careers.
Consequently
, the German government decided to continue
this
method in
this
country. Personally, I believe that
education
university
Change preposition
at university
show examples
is
prominent
Correct article usage
a prominent
show examples
benefit impact to
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
for getting accomplishments. In fact, focusing on other ways to success achievement is not
experienced
Correct article usage
an experienced
show examples
method in most
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of the world.
Nevertheless
, system
education
at
university
has
Add an article
a favorable
show examples
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
show examples
to get accomplishment. Indeed,
Irish
Correct article usage
the Irish
show examples
are
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
successfully
Change the word
successful
show examples
people
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to other locals.
This
is
due to
the fact that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
individuals
in Ireland have graduated from
university
and found
a good jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good job
good jobs
show examples
. In conclusion,
university
education
is a helpful
way
for
individuals
to achieve something in their life or it is not useful for them is a controversial topic.
Reasons
Correct article usage
The reasons
show examples
mentioned above
supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
show examples
studying at
university
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
a beneficial
way
to prepare
an
Change preposition
for an
show examples
accomplishment
Replace the word
accomplished
show examples
lifestyle.
Submitted by ab.ciyani on

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Language
Consider using a variety of complex sentence structures to convey your points more effectively.
Accuracy
Pay close attention to grammatical accuracy and spelling to enhance your argument's clarity.
Development
Make sure to elaborate on your examples with specific details to strengthen your argument.
Structure
You have provided a clear, well-structured introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your essay.
Content Depth
Your essay discusses a broad range of ideas, demonstrating your ability to explore complex issues.
Task Response
You effectively used a discussion of both viewpoints, followed by a clear statement of your own perspective, demonstrating strong task achievement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • university education
  • higher pay
  • sweated and sacrificed
  • higher education
  • time, effort, and financial investment
  • specialized knowledge and skills
  • job prospects
  • economic contributions
  • valuable contributions
  • fairness and equality
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