The bar chart shows the results of a survey, in which people in Europe and the USA were asked what they consider to be the most important factor in the success of a business. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar graph compares the

factors

regarded as the most significant for a

business

to succeed by surveyees in Europe and the USA.

Overall

character

Add an article

the character

show examples

of the director and

Correct article usage

the styles

show examples

styles

Fix the agreement mistake

style

show examples

to manage

Change preposition

of managing

show examples

the

business

were the most important and

political

Correct article usage

the political

show examples

situation was the least for Americans. Europeans

also

considered the management of the

business

to be the major factor

whereas

external

factors

to be the minor by Europeans. Starting with the results of the survey given by Americans,

Correct article usage

the peronality

show examples

peronality

Correct your spelling

personality

of the director and the style of

business

had the largest proportions with 40%.

Lower

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A lower

The lower

show examples

percentage of people answered national

securtiy

Correct your spelling

security

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

just below 20% and only less than 10% of people believed external

factors

were essential.

Furthermore

political

Add an article

the political

show examples

situation had the lowest rate with approximately 5%.

Turing

Correct your spelling

Turning

show examples

to the response of Europeans,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

business

management was

also

believed to be the most crucial element with nearly 40%, which was a little higher than that of Americans. Regarding the political situation, the personality of the manager and the national economy, they ranged from under 20% to

slighly

Correct your spelling

slightly

above 20%.

Lastly

, the external

factors

were the least selected with below 10%.

Submitted by mizuho on Fri Mar 29 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words factors, business with synonyms.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

189 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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