Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think the changes have been very positive, while others believe they have been negative. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.
In our
time
people
really have different lifestyles from the way they lived in the past. Most of them think that changes
have been very positive while
others consider they have been bad. In my opinion, there have been good and at the same time
some negative changes
between past and present time
.
As for advantages, first of all
Add a comma
all,
people
are having
so many things in modern Wrong verb form
have
time
which make their life easier a lot. Fix the agreement mistake
times
For instance
, technologies have been risen
sharply so Change to the active voice
risen
people
can contact each other from different countries within one
second. Comparing
to the past Wrong verb form
Compared
people
sent letters to each other and it took so much time
to deliver them. Likewise
, there are many companies which are providing their services to make your own smart house. In my mind, it is one
of the biggest innovation
because it gives Fix the agreement mistake
innovations
Correct article usage
a high
high security
Add a hyphen
high-security
level
and smart machines Fix the agreement mistake
levels
so
Correct word choice
apply
they
can make your house clean Correct pronoun usage
that
instead
of you. In addition
, recently people
made a huge discovery - they made the
artificial intelligence. For Correct article usage
apply
now
Add a comma
now,
people
are smartеr than this
thing, however
, day by day it is learning a lot. May be
it will be smarter than Correct your spelling
Maybe
people
in one
day.
On the other hand
, there have been some negative modifications. Actually, these changes
made
Verb problem
have
influence
, especially on Add an article
an influence
people
. For instance
, children are playing
video games for the whole Wrong verb form
play
days
and do not study at all.
As for the second negative Fix the agreement mistake
day
effect
I consider that there are many hackers and guys who want to scam Add a comma
effect,
people
online. This
is one
of the hugest problem
which is impossible to solve.
Change to a plural noun
problems
To conclude
, people
made so many changes
in their lives. With this
Correct determiner usage
these
modifications
it is easier to live at all. Add a comma
modifications,
Also
, big problems come with big success so you need to be careful in
the internet.Change preposition
with
Submitted by faceit0990 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure
While your essay includes an excellent range of ideas supporting both viewpoints, consider integrating even more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and flow. This technique can add a sophisticated layer to your argumentation.
Content
To further strengthen your essay, it's beneficial to delve deeper into the consequences and implications of the points discussed. For example, when mentioning the rise of artificial intelligence, contemplate its potential impact on employment and ethical considerations. This approach helps in providing a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Argumentation
Don't hesitate to explore counterarguments to the views you present. This method not only showcases your ability to engage critically with the topic but also helps in building a more persuasive case by acknowledging and addressing opposing perspectives.
Balance
You've done an excellent job in outlining both the positive and negative aspects of modern lifestyle changes, providing a balanced view that adds depth to your discussion.
Supporting Examples
The use of specific examples, such as the mention of smart houses and artificial intelligence, significantly strengthens your argument by providing clear, tangible instances that support your points.
Conclusion
Your conclusion skillfully wraps up the discussion by reiterating the key points and reaffirming your stance, effectively bringing the essay to a cohesive close.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.